28 Funny, Strange or Unbelievable Things Security Guards Have Seen People Do On Camera

Stop doing weird stuff in the elevator, they can see you
28 Funny, Strange or Unbelievable Things Security Guards Have Seen People Do On Camera

The job of your average security guard is a thankless one. As we’ve seen in movies like Night at the Museum or Paul Blart: Mall Cop, they’re often dealing with hijinks well above their pay grade. Furthermore, the shifts can be long, dreadful and boring, as they’re forced to spend a lot of time looking at security feeds on the off-chance something goes awry. 

Among all of that dull footage, though, there’s occasionally behavior that isn’t necessarily criminal, but wildly hilarious. Which is why the security guards of Reddit often have been called upon to share some of the craziest things they’ve seen people do when said people think no one is watching. Their stories did not disappoint…

 7y ... Work at an Art Gallery. One Summer they had an out door installation called Gumhead. It was a large bust of the artist that exhibit belonged too. People were of course, encouraged to stick their used gum to it and by the end of the exhibit, it was absolutely covered in chewed, rained on, heated up & had birds shit on it. One night I'm sitting in the security room when i noticed a guy pacing around the bust. I zoomed in on him to find that he was picking the gum off the bust & shoveling
Superflypirate . 7y Not a security guard but I used to work retail and was buddies with loss prevention. Got a phone call warning me to not shake hands with a customer or touch what he touched because he was itching his balls for a solid 10 minutes while walking around the store. ... 74
037020 . 1 7y Would have a be the mid 50's guy who was completely naked and covered head to toe in tattoos doing helicopter spins with his penis for a solid 5 minutes. ... 348
 11y ... Two people in a lift. The doors close and.. BANG. All over each other on the ride down. Hands like octopus tentacles. Arms bending ways I didn't think possible. Clothes and hair flying. Then.. BING. They quickly straightened up. Hair fixed, sweat wiped, clothes straightened. Walked out calmly and left the club. I then spied them fucking in bushes on camera in the carpark, while he was wearing her bra. Не also had her panties on his head. 598 Reply
Bmc00 . 7y Doing a stroll through the parking lot of a factory I was a guard at once. Noticed some commotion in a vehicle, so I shined my flashlight into the window. I busted Manager A with Manager B's wife. It was slightly awkward. ... 1.7k
kablooooooom . 7y I worked in a museum and had the head of security show me one of his guys---a supervisor, doing his best to hop over the admissions desk. The guy didn't get enough air and landed squarely on the glass of the admissions desk. It shattered around him. It was pretty fantastic. Even better, it wasn't a move that he was pulling for some sort of security related obligation, but it was after hours and he was trying to impress a new hire.
redheadedfury.1 11y I monitor security cams in my area of our facility. Nothing crazy, but once I looked up to see some warehouse guys racing on pallet jacks down the hallway. Pretty funny. ... 2
Dtrain323i . 11y Never saw sex or anything like that but I did watch a guy drive over a parking block and drag it under his car for about half a block. ... 2
AE1360 11y At Sears I had this lady come in all the time and go to the perfume/cologne which was high theft..but she was some old lady. She would just dump cologne (Joop! or whatever) all over herself, ridiculous amounts. We would go out and walk by her and just be overwhelmed. Eventually I was able to catch her on her way in (on camera) and noticed her smoking before coming in. Then one day I was scanning the parking lot from the office and saw her again walking towards the doors. She stopped at the ash trays, dug through
masteractor . . 11y I always loved laughing at those who would check their noses and faces in the mirrors. We even had a few guys flexing a few times. Once two guys took off their shirts and did a pose off. ... 2
IlludiumQ-36 . . 11y I have cams outside my house on an alley in Baltimore City. If you promise to love me, l'll post video of guy taking hard sided suitcase out of vehicle and humping it on more than one occasion.
dearth805 . 11y I used to work at a mall, and we were going to close early on a 4th of July. My coworker and I decided to bring our airsoft pistols to work that day and have a battle in the deserted mall. It turns out that the one day we bring airsoft guns to the mall is the same day we found a bat that was stuck deep in one of the corridors. So, we did what any self-respecting guards would do, and secured the premises. We eventually flushed the bat out of the corridor, then promptly went
Zelius . 11y I work in a museum. I don't watch the cameras but just stand around the exhibitions. This one time I saw five different people bump their head into a plexiglass wall surrounding one of the objects within a few minutes. On another occasion, one woman bumped her head so hard she actually bounced back onto the wall behind her. The weird thing is, there are stickers clearly marking the glass walls. ... 3
hearip88 . 11y Worked at a grocery store and found a huge turd laying on the floor about 10 feet away from the restrooms. FEC and I go upstairs to check the camera and some 40-50 y/o woman is walking, stops, shakes her leg, turd falls out, she resumes shopping. She was in the store for another 20 minutes or so. Didn't even faze her. And she continued to be a regular customer. ... 50
Herpbees . 11y When I worked in a casino my boyfriend at the time who worked in Security at the casino informed me that everyone in security and surveillance could in fact watch me dance the robot in the elevators. ... 1.2k
ShadeyFrog 11y I monitor about 70 different banks and over 200 ATM cameras. I get a lot of the generic crazy stuff like masturbating, sex, nose picking, or girls digging into ass cracks etc. But I remember one night I was watching an overhead vestibule camera in one of our banks. It's a 24 hour vestibule so members can come in and use the ATM. Around 5am a guy shows up and gets down on his hands and knees on the tile floor. At first I couldn't tell what he was doing but knew it was suspicious so I called
hoikarnage . 11y I've never seen anything crazy enough to go on about, but my boss insists that any time a customer is hurt (trips or slips or w/e) that we are sure to save the file for him to review in the morning. Then he proceeds to laugh his ass off at them. That's how he likes to start his mornings. ... 721
Expert_Lurker 11y Funniest thing? At around 2 am on a weekend random dude walking down the street with no shirt on, systematically going to all the trees along the road and hugging them passionately. Before a random motorist catches his attention that is. Shirtless guy charges out onto the street in front of the car causing the driver to slam on his brakes. Не then proceeded to drop to all fours and mock charge the vehicle. The terrified motorist throws their car into reverse turns completely around and speeds off. Shirtless guy continues to hug trees. At that point I
fauxpunk . 11y Last year, I was working at a headshop that is known for having a lot of cameras in it. We were about to close up, after having to deal with one last rude customer. I believe that it was me and someone else in the back room tidying up.. I turned around at the wrong moment when my boss busted out laughing DID YOU SEE THAT?!. This woman, who tore into my other co-worker for the shop not having stripper apparel, had walked out the door, rolled on her heel and fell flat on her ass. Needless
asaphelpschicago 11y A few years ago I was a security officer at the Sears Tower (now Willis) in downtown Chicago. My supervisor showed me a video of this naked guy running around outside of the building only to have it end with him running straight into the glass window and falling backwards. Best part, I didn't see his junk. ... 8
sellyberry 11y There were many security camas at my former employers, turns out a lot of them are actually recording! One night it's dead and it's boring and you sort of get numb after a while and forget about all those cameras hanging from the ceiling... So this girl who worked there is walking towards the bathroom, stops in the entryway just past the security gates, and picks a big, long, gooey booger out of her nose and slurps it up. (what else do you do? Drop it on the floor?) The manager reviewing the tapes, instead of chuckling and
Nude_Atheism 11y Back when I use to do security at a hospital, I caught a guy masturbating on camera. Not only was he masturbating, he was masturbating in the ER waiting rom at around 2 am. Not only was he masturbating in the ER waiting room, he was staring at women (that were only a couple feet from him) while he did it. Не thought that because he was behind a couch that they wouldn't see him, they didn't but we did. I recorded the whole thing and played it back for him when all of us were in the
heretik . 11y VOTE I work at a rather large government complex and there are quite a few stories but the best one we have video evidence of is the couple that works at our site who seem to like to go park from time to time. We've caught them a handful of times. You've never seen a car rock back and forth so violently as it can when this woman gets on top. Last time we confronted them all they wanted to know was whether or not we were going to tell her husband or his wife. ... 80
diablo75 11y I worked at Best Buy about 10 years ago and one of the guys who worked security at the front told me this story: A lady came into the store and wound up in one of the lanes where they stock CDs. Through the security camera he could see her grab a few and the continue on her way, facing away from the camera above. She did a sort of move where she moved her purse in front of her with her left hand and the CDs with her right. They drop back and the CDs have magically
Miroudias 11y I used to work at a Kmart and one of their policies, as there was only one undercover security guard, was to have a second employee of Kmart at all times during events - So, it doesn't turn into a he-said- she-said type problem. As I was a friend of the guard I got called all the time. During the Thanksgiving season he called me back to view one of the cameras. I stood there w/ my jaw dropped as we watched a larger woman wearing a moo-moo take not one, but TWO Butterball turkeys, place them under her skirt,
FuzzyManPeach . 11y When I worked at Walmart, my department was housewares, one day I noticed uh... something in one of those sample pillow cases, the ones you can touch, I peered inside only to discover the meatiest of turds. I was obviously a bit curious as to who'd do this (despite being at Walmart), so I found one of the secret shoppers, who also operate surveillence, we traced back to when it happened only to see a man pull a turd out of his basketball shorts (not too sure if it was freshly made), put it in the pillow
cfrailty 11y I used to work at a Target store as an APS (Asset Protection Specialist). Late one night, around 9ish, when the store was pretty much dead, a drunk couple entered the store. THey were stumbling around, so I kept the cameras on them for cheap entertainment. They began to head for the luggage/ backpack section in the back of the store, and stopped there to make out for a minute or two. After kissing, the woman grabs a Dora the Explorer kids backpack and vomits profusely in it. After she had finished expelling her intestines into the poor
Id_rather_be_lurking . 11y Had a guy in the Planet Hollywood Casino walking around the casino floor carrying a bottle of Crown Royal on a pillow and offering people shots at 3am. Problem was he was wearing nothing but a cowboy hat, cowboy boots and a purple speedo. ... 7
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