31 Stupid Movie Lines That Make Ed Wood Sound Like Shakespeare

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31 Stupid Movie Lines That Make Ed Wood Sound Like Shakespeare

There’s a fine line between genius and utter stupidity. These movies tried their darnedest at what they had hoped would be a one-liner fit for an epic T-shirt. Sadly, they fell far short of that monumental mark. While sifting through the bottom of the barrel, we wondered how these lines made it past countless executives and creatives to actually be heard in theaters around the world. They must have all thought it was fine at one point, but a quick once-over scrunched our faces right up.

CRACKED.COM BEOWULF | am Ripper... Tearer... Slasher... Gouger. I am the Teeth in the Darkness, the Talons in the Night. Mine is Strength... and Lust... and Power! I AM BEOWULF! THESAURUS Beowulf is about to conquer his opponent Grendel... but he pauses to crack out the thesaurus? Not done yet! I'm also Stabber... Slicer... Injurer... Booboo-Giver... I am the Sword When The Lights Are Turned Off... the Axe When It's Cloudy... Quit the vocab lesson and finish him already!

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Everything ends badly. Otherwise, it wouldn't end. COCKTAIL CRACKED.COM That line pretty much sums up most reviews of Cocktail.

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They say it's all downhill after the first kiss. I'm pretty sure that only counts if you're kissing a human. MAN OF STEEL CRACKED.COM Save the world, get the girl, and then make it weird.

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GRACKED.COM Did you know that in the Far East, people pay their doctors when they're healthy? When they're sick, they don't have to pay them. So, basically, they end up paying for what they want, not what they don't want. We got it all ass- backwards here. Did YOU know that Tobin Bell made this up? We weren't even sure if it's true. I think it's NOT true. My wife is Malaysian; I asked her about it, and... she laughed at me. - Patrick Melton, co-writer of Saw VI.

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GRACKED.COM ،A red SUN rises. Blood has been spilled this night. I'M FUCKING TIRED OF YOUR SHIT LEGOLAS, IF ITS UNKNOWN INFORMATION ONLY KNOWN BY ELVES THEN THERE SHOULD BE A FUCKING RED SUN EVERY FUCKING DAY. IF WHAT YOU WERE SAYING WAS INDEED KNOWN BY EVERYONE THEN YOU WOULDNT HAVE TO SAY THE FUCKING OBVIOUS BY TELLING ME THIS. so WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU SAYING? -ARAGORN

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TELL US NOW. WHAT IS THE DUMBEST LINE IN A MOVIE EVERYONE FORGETS? I have crossed oceans of time to find you. AP W. It was stupid when Gary Oldman said it in Dracula It was stupider still when I tried it in the bar at Texas Road House. CRACKED.COM

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TELL US NOW. WHAT IS THE DUMBEST LINE IN A MOVIE EVERYONE FORGETS? Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else. Taylor N. It's supposed to make her seem badass, but it's just a really weird thing to say. It's not a callback or anything. CRACKED.COM

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TELL US NOW. WHAT IS THE DUMBEST LINE IN A MOVIE EVERYONE FORGETS? Sir, rebel ships are coming into our sector. Good! Our first catch of the day. Ben S. People sometimes forget that one of the worst lines came from what is often held up as the best Star Wars film. GRACKED.COM

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