You're probably just going to have to trust me that these are all real, unless you want to type 'action for men' into your browser and learn all about the best ways to get plowed by a trucker in the bathroom of a Red Robin.
It turns out that the line between 'fun new learning experience' and 'lifelong trauma' is razor thin.
You might be surprised to know the real reason every sketchy bodega and market in America sells these things.
These fakers like to pretend to be doctors and will make you as uncomfortable as a real doctor but with the added threat of not knowing their asses from grape jelly.
It turns out comics have contributed a surprising number of enduring words, phrases, and traditions to modern society.
At the age of 13, I was arrested for armed robbery. It wasn't a case of mistaken identity. But I wasn't worried; I knew I was innocent.
Unfortunately for these brands, all they did was subliminally confirm that getting hammered brings out the worst in a person.