Cracked Archive - Weird World

I used to be a cop, and what I learned on the job is that it is far more ridiculous than any fictional portrayal.

• By Robert Evans, Anonymous
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• January 06, 2014

I made the OkCupid profile of the Worst Woman on Earth, hoping to prove that there exists an online dating profile so loathsome that no man would message it. I failed.

• By Alli Reed
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• January 04, 2014

The first game came out over 15 years ago, and if you've long stopped paying attention, you'll be surprised by the bizarre things that have happened to the series.

• By Mark Hill
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• January 04, 2014

While visiting an old church or park, when suddenly ... penises. Penises everywhere.

• By Laura H
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• January 04, 2014

Take a good, long look at Fido, because maybe, just maybe, he's been trying to kill you for years and years. Maybe he already did kill you.

• By Felix Clay
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• January 02, 2014

My name is Robert Brockway, and I have a problem: I'm addicted to the apocalypse.

• By Robert Brockway
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• December 31, 2013

Everyone tried so hard to go 'viral' that the word barely has any meaning anymore.

• By Cody Johnston
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• December 30, 2013

2013 was a historically bad year for Congress and health care websites, but it was Cracked's best year ever.

• By CRACKED Staff
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• December 29, 2013

In the face of relentless pressure to keep coming up with new supervillains, publishers wound up greenlighting ideas that really should have screamed 'bad idea' at the doodle stage.

• By Maxwell Yezpitelok, Chris Rio
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• December 28, 2013

In 2013, these six stories quenched the general public's insatiable thirst for misplaced outrage more than any others.

• By Adam Tod Brown
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• December 27, 2013

Don't ruin your holidays with the following stories, which are so bizarre, they're almost impossible to masturbate to.

• By Mark Hill
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• December 24, 2013

'Revolution' used to be a word with meaning. Now, any hack British comedian can use it to their desire.

• By Robert Evans
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• December 24, 2013

Why must it always be boring old Santa? There are so many badass Christmas characters out there, just waiting for their time in the limelight.

• By Pauli Poisuo
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• December 24, 2013

Gather ye round the fire for another yuletide reading of the Pumblechook & Figg holiday gift catalog!

• By Brendan McGinley
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• December 22, 2013

It's as if they were fighting a real war with the same selfless abandon with which you'd fight in a video game.

• By Jorden Weir, Lyudmil Berberov
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• December 22, 2013