Cracked Archive - News

If Everything Had A Fantasy League: Election Edition
If Everything Had A Fantasy League: Election Edition

The upcoming election is a total clown car. So we might as well have fun with it.

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5 Weirdly Accepted Ways The Media Is Racist Against Asians
5 Weirdly Accepted Ways The Media Is Racist Against Asians

With all this credulity-straining clickbait everywhere, it's reasonable to assume that everybody who writes for the Internet is in truth the same stoned intern.

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Never Wear Seatbelts: 8 Things You Learn In A Modern Warzone
Never Wear Seatbelts: 8 Things You Learn In A Modern Warzone

When artillery starts exploding you want to be as mobile as possible - begin by disabling your car safety belts.

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The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (11/3)
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (11/3)

Following the news is like reading a superhero comic in which the heroes actually stay dead.

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5 Insane Moments From The Creepiest Haunted House Ever
5 Insane Moments From The Creepiest Haunted House Ever

Listen, I don't scare easily, but f**k a bug. All bugs.

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5 Minor Details That Ruin Every Haunted House Experience
5 Minor Details That Ruin Every Haunted House Experience

Unsurprisingly, the move toward making horror-based entertainment more like watching a person get murdered for real has extended to haunted houses in recent years.

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The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (10/27)
The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (10/27)

Forget Kim Kardashian's bum. Star Wars: The Force Awakens is breaking the internet.

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The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (10/20)
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (10/20)

The news is like a very confusing story written by a novelist who was trying to treat his chronic paranoia with cocaine.

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8 Things You Don't (Want To) Know About TSA Checkpoints
8 Things You Don't (Want To) Know About TSA Checkpoints

We sat down with someone who spent most of the last decade working for the TSA, and he explained to us just what it was like being inside that most hated of organizations.

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5 Dark Moments In History Are Now Shockingly Possible Again
5 Dark Moments In History Are Now Shockingly Possible Again

I'm not saying any of the things on this list are definitely going to happen. I'm just saying they already did once.

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The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (10/13)
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (10/13)

Trying to stay on top of the news is like trying to defeat a swarm of killer bees by eating them.

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6 Idiotic Stories About Aliens The News Keeps Regurgitating
6 Idiotic Stories About Aliens The News Keeps Regurgitating

In the latest installment of our never-ending quest to keep you safe from the Internet's tidal waves of bullshit, we'd like to focus on alien life.

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Most Victims Are Men: 5 Realities Of Rape In The Military
Most Victims Are Men: 5 Realities Of Rape In The Military

We talked to a whole bunch of former and current military servicewomen about this subject. Somehow, what they had to tell us was even worse than we expected.

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People Just Disappear: 5 Reasons Cruise Ships Are Nightmares
People Just Disappear: 5 Reasons Cruise Ships Are Nightmares

You should be aware that an expensive seafaring vacation can quickly turn into a petri dish of disease and nightmares.

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6 True Stories That Prove Local News Is Creepy As Hell
6 True Stories That Prove Local News Is Creepy As Hell

Pick up any small-town newspaper and you'll see a special section reserved for stuff straight out of a bad episode of 'X-Files.'

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