Cracked Archive - News
Watching the news, it's clear that the real world is a lot like the 'Star Wars' universe, in the sense that there are lots of people getting limbs hacked off by religious extremists.
- By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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- December 15, 2015
ISIS is craving war in Syria and, unfortunately, there are more than a few warhawks running for president who'd like to give it to them.
- By Adam Tod Brown
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- December 10, 2015
As far as most news outlets are concerned, anyone below the poverty line is fair game as a source of national amusement and mockery.
- By Amanda Mannen
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- December 09, 2015
Watching the news can leave you with the impression that the world is secretly run by YouTube commenters.
- By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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- December 08, 2015
While everyone is saying equally dumb stuff as Ben Carson, he's the only one suffering in the polls for it.
- By CRACKED Staff
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- December 06, 2015
Going to an animated movie for kids by yourself as an adult male is one step away from going to Chuck E. Cheese's alone.
- By Adam Tod Brown
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- December 04, 2015
Articles about how modern college kids hate the first amendment have become more prevalent than STDs at a frat house.
- By J.F. Sargent
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- November 24, 2015
A quick look at the news should make you thankful that you're not currently running and screaming from some disaster or another.
- By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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- November 24, 2015
It is a foregone conclusion that Hilary Clinton is going to win the Democratic nomination, to the chagrin of the keyboard-killers who thought Sanders would be our POTUS for the next 60 years.
- By CRACKED Staff
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- November 23, 2015
Honor killing claims 5,000 lives every year. And for some young Muslims, mostly women, all it takes to become a statistic is living a normal adult life.
- By Robert Evans, Anonymous
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- November 20, 2015
ISIS has a magazine. That is not a joke. An actual glossy, full-color magazine called Dabiq, complete with feature articles and photo spreads.
- By Robert Evans
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- November 19, 2015
The news can seem like a crossover between the 'Saw' franchise and 'Groundhog Day.'
- By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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- November 17, 2015
Look, folks, portraying the youth of today as Archie and Jughead hopped up on The Weeknd and emojis isn't going to make the world a less stupid place.
- By Michael Hossey
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- November 15, 2015
Following the news every day will make you wonder why Matt Damon didn't just ask to stay on Mars.
- By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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- November 10, 2015
The upcoming election is a total clown car. So we might as well have fun with it.
- By CRACKED Staff
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- November 08, 2015
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