Cracked Archive - News
5 Things No One Mentions When Debating Political Correctness
Over the last few years, however, I've seen a lot of people take up the mantle of GRAND GATEKEEPER OF JOKES and cast blanket statements over comedy as a whole.
- By Daniel Dockery
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- June 20, 2015
4 Stupid Moral Panics Caused By Everyday Objects
Sex, women, and kitchen utensils have brought society to the brink of collapse more times than should be necessary.
- By Kathy Benjamin
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- June 18, 2015
6 Famous Companies You Had No Clue Were Dying
The internet has made things pretty easy. Too easy...
- By Jason Iannone
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- June 17, 2015
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (6/16)
The news is like an episode of 'Game Of Thrones,' only more people die and the characters' decisions somehow make even less sense.
The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (6/9)
No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every important headline while maintaining their sanity. So we're here to help.
- By Ted E.
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- June 09, 2015
6 Surprises To Expect When Both Of Your Parents Die
I wasn't legally allowed to rent a car, but I was already an orphan, planning funerals, owning property, and doing things even my own parents never had to endure.
- By Eden Dranger
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- June 07, 2015
6 Insane News Stories About Terrorism (That Were Total B.S.)
It's time for part 47 billion of our 219-quintillion-part series on fiction passed off as news.
- By Jason Iannone
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- June 03, 2015
The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (6/2)
No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every important headline while maintaining their sanity.
- By Ted E.
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- June 02, 2015
The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (5/26)
No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every important headline while maintaining their sanity.
- By Ted E.
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- May 26, 2015
The 5 Coolest Superpowers The Religious Right Thinks I Have
To get down on our knees and grovel over every little disaster we've caused would take all day; is it cool if we just apologize for the Top 5?
- By Belinda Carroll
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- May 22, 2015
The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (5/19)
Sometimes it seems like the world is run by Skynet, after it got infected with malware from an Eastern European porn site.
- By Ted E.
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- May 19, 2015
The 6 Most Clueless Assholes To Ever Exploit Tragedies
Cashing in always takes precedence over common decency.
- By E. Reid Ross
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- May 14, 2015
5 Insane Police Forces No One Ever Talks About
I didn't intend to write three columns in a row about police and/or criminals, it just sort of happened.
- By Adam Tod Brown
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- May 14, 2015
13 Things You Didn't Know You Should Know
The world is like a movie written by a dozen coked-up screenwriters, the script of which was then eaten by one of their dogs, forcing the actors to try to perform their parts by reading the shit.
- By Ted E.
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- May 12, 2015
5 Reasons Police Have Probably Started The Next Civil War
Police sure are crazy in Baltimore, huh? Trick question! Police are crazy pretty much everywhere.
- By Adam Tod Brown
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- May 07, 2015
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