Cracked Archive - News
The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (9/8)
The news media's primary motivation these days is clearly to drum up sales of emergency apocalypse supplies.
- Authors
- By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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913
913 The 12 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (9/1)
Judging from the news, the world is like a disaster movie, only without the last few scenes where everybody escapes.
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- By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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- 738
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (8/25)
Staying on top of the news is like trying to follow the plot of Kevin Spacey's serial killer notebooks in 'Se7en.'
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- By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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- 719
6 People Who Responded To Tragedies In The Most Soulless Way
When disaster strikes, there are plenty of ways you can respond without being a massive tool. But that's not what these heroes decided to do.
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- By Jason Iannone
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- 777
The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (8/18)
Staying on top of current events is like trying to drink from a fire hose, only instead of a hydrant it's hooked up to a sewer line.
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- By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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- 615
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The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (8/11)
The news reads like a very long PSA on why civilization was a bad idea.
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- By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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- Comments
- 605
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (8/4)
Staying on top of current events is like trying to keep an accurate count of the wolves who are currently chasing you through the woods.
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- By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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- Comments
- 787
The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (7/28)
Judging from the news, the cabal of powerful people who secretly run the world have all dropped a shitload of acid recently.
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- By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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- 667
5 Incredibly Positive Trends No One's Talking About
If you take a moment to stop actively focusing on the negative, it's easy to see that, despite our collective insistence to the contrary, the world as a whole is chugging along towards a better place.
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- By Cornelius Heyer, Ivan Farkas
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- 680
The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (7/21)
The world makes about as much sense as the plot of your average late-night Cinemax porno, one watched with the sound off so your Mom doesn't hear.
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- By T. S. Obiech
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- 640
The 12 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (7/14)
Watching the news is a lot like watching the new season of 'True Detective,' only with even more angst and ridiculous mustaches.
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- By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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- 892
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (7/7)
Judging by the news, the world is kind of like Jurassic Park, only if the dinosaurs were in charge of security.
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- By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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- Comments
- 777
The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (6/30)
No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every important headline while maintaining their sanity. So we're here to help.
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- By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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- 651
The 6 Stupidest Acts Of Journalistic Fraud Ever Attempted
Breaking an important story is such an all-encompassing dream that some reporters won't even think twice about flat-out lying to get that extremely uncomfortable Jacuzzi full of Pulitzer Prizes they all so desperately crave.
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- By Adam Wears
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- 504
