Cracked Archive - News
It's Not 4th of July; Knock It Off With The Fireworks
Our world's on fireworks. How bout yours?
- Authors
- By Dan Duddy
- Published
- Comments
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37
37 VICE Is Suing The Government Over A Dog's Genitals
Everyone knows that all dogs are boys anyway.
- Authors
- By Amanda Mannen
- Published
- Comments
- 26
5 Real Bosses Straight From The Bowels Of Hell
Sometimes you become the CEO because you're really, really evil.
- Authors
- By Adam S.
- Published
- Comments
- 45
How TurboTax (Secretly) Makes Your Taxes A Nightmare
TurboTax is actually one of the primary reasons doing your taxes sucks so much.
- Authors
- By Jordan Breeding
- Published
- Comments
- 28
Nashville Newspaper Publishes A Bananapants BS Warning Of Islamic Nuclear Attack
You don’t have to explain to us the tyranny of advertisement over media, but this is ridiculous.
- Authors
- By Amanda Mannen
- Published
- Comments
- 20
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Hotel's Reopening Ad Is Scarier Than 'The Shining'
What if abandoned hotel, but full of living mannequins?
- Authors
- By Amanda Mannen
- Published
- Comments
- 10
Fox News Admits Tucker Carlson Isn't To Be Taken Seriously
It's been years in the making, but they've finally said the quiet part out loud.
- Authors
- By Dan Duddy
- Published
- Comments
- 97
Mommy England Is Threatening To Take Away Our Tear Gas
We're just not responsible enough to use it.
- Authors
- By Amanda Mannen
- Published
- Comments
- 38
Aunt Jemima Is Getting A Long Overdue Rebranding
Now someone just has to do something about the football team in Washington.
- Authors
- By Dan Duddy
- Published
- Comments
- 54
6 Good Dogs (We Clearly Don't Deserve)
We realize this is a controversial statement, but we're going to come out and say it anyway: dogs are good.
- Authors
- By Ryan Menezes
- Published
- Comments
- 48
NYPD Gets Weird Poops, Claims Shake Shack 'Poisoned' Them
Get over yourself: They’re conspiring to poison all of us.
- Authors
- By Amanda Mannen
- Published
- Comments
- 43
How Cops In Other Countries Treat Firearms
Even the reporting of firearm deaths in this country is subpar.
- Authors
- By Dan Duddy
- Published
- Comments
- 81
Don't Trash-Talk eBay; They Might Threaten You Mafia-Style
Your grandma's favorite website turned into the CIA-mafia when we weren't looking.
- Authors
- By Amanda Mannen
- Published
- Comments
- 12
Corporate Execs Are Still Being Greedy Trash During This
Corporate America won't let a little global pandemic slow down executive pay and bonuses.
- Authors
- By Luis Prada
- Published
- Comments
- 48
Fox News Mistakes 'Monty Python' Quote As BLM Radical Agenda
- Authors
- By Cedric Voets
- Published
- Comments
- 67
