Cracked Archive - News
And Now, Compelling Evidence Shrek Is Secretly Jewish
Time to send Shrek an early invite to your Hanukkah Zoom call.
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- By Carly Tennes
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20 Because Of Google, The Internet Thinks A Random Woman Is Jeff Bezos
Despite what Google says, this woman is definitely not Jeff Bezos.
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- By Carly Tennes
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Trump's Diagnosis Could Unleash Amendment Mostly Used for Presidential Colonoscopies
So far, the 25th Amendment has only been invoked for, well, uncomfortable situations.
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- By Carly Tennes
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New Zealand Prime Minister Says She Smoked Weed, Nobody Cares
BRB, going to add Jacinda Ardern to a list of people we'd love to smoke with ...
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- By Carly Tennes
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Subway's Bread Isn't Actually Bread, Irish Court Rules
Not all bread rises to the occasion, at least according to a court in Ireland.
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- By Carly Tennes
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Couple Breaks Up Over Cans of Beans, Because 2020
Some relationships just aren't meant to be(an).
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- By Carly Tennes
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An Architecture Student Once Stopped a New York City Skyscraper from Collapsing during a Hurricane
Heroes don't always wear capes; sometimes, they just have a really good understanding of architecture.
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- By Carly Tennes
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House Covered Entirely With Budweiser Cans On Sale For $100,000
All together now, '99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer ...'
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- By Carly Tennes
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Do All Flamin' Hot Cheetos Taste Different? An Investigation
Did we eat the equivalent of three bags of Flamin' Hot Cheetos for this article? Yes. Was it worth it? Find out for yourself.
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- By Carly Tennes
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Swearing Parrots At Zoo Berate Guests With 'Fowl' Language
To quote one of the birds, uh, nevermind.
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- By Carly Tennes
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Home Depot's 12-Foot-Tall Yard Skeleton Is A Big Mood
BRB, going to go drop three Benjamins on a skeleton that won't even fit through my door.
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- By Carly Tennes
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Hero Bikes From Poo Poo Point, Washington to Pee Pee Creek, Ohio For Charity
To quote the internet in these kinds of situations, nice.
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- By Carly Tennes
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And Now, A New Twist To One Of Tiger King's Biggest Mysteries
And no, it has nothing to do with Carole Baskin's Dancing With The Stars' performance.
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- By Carly Tennes
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Officials In Thailand Mail Actual Trash Back to Litterbugs
Thai authorities have nothing on your passive aggressive roommate...
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- By Carly Tennes
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'Satanic Tea Company' Aims to Make Tea Time Goth Again
The bass, the rock, the mic, the treble, I like my chamomile tea black just like my metal?
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- By Carly Tennes
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