Cracked Archive - News
November is National Novel Writing Month, and I'm aiming for a more tangible prize than a 400KB document cluttering up my hard drive. I want some goddamn money.
- By Soren Bowie
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- November 06, 2012
I am just nuts about presidential campaigns and elections. They're exciting, and crazy, and interesting, and important(ish). What I hate is everything else that seems to surround every modern election.
- By Daniel O'Brien
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- October 12, 2012
OR: 4 Reasons You're Not Going To Believe Any Of These 4 Reasons
- By Chris Bucholz
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- September 29, 2012
While the headlines are dominated by our weekly mass shootings, the reality is that day to day, we common folk make little sacrifices for each other and let insults slide and feel bad when we act like douchebags.
- By Jason Pargin
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- August 27, 2012
We need to stop saying the following four things, because they lead to nowhere. And as we all know, nothing gets done nowhere.
- By Cody Johnston
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- July 27, 2012
If you haven't seen the big breaking news story about dinosaur sex, you should pat yourself on the back. Lots of people are reading this and sending it around and it proves we're screwed.
- By Daniel O'Brien
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- July 13, 2012
Let's get right to it: We will pay you to write things for us even if you have never written anything for anybody before.
- By CRACKED Staff
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- July 04, 2012
The government hates sick people. With the historic decision on June 28th to uphold the Affordable Care Act, the Supreme Court has effectively given Obama the authority to wipe his fancy loafers all over your constitutional right to be ill.
- By Soren Bowie
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- July 02, 2012
I've been chosen to infiltrate China, because no one would suspect an Irishman of even knowing what an economy was. I've spent the last few weeks learning their financial secrets for the West.
- By Luke McKinney
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- July 01, 2012
Sex has always been the silver bullet of advertising, until now!
- By Soren Bowie
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- May 01, 2012
When every news outlet feels like it has to break stories before Twitter has the chance, a lot of corners get cut. Specifically, the corner called 'fact checking.'
- By Danny Gallagher
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- April 25, 2012
If making fun of stupid criminals is a crime, then we plead guilty. We'll even do it in some laughably incompetent way so that we can become a list entry in one of our own articles.
- By Tracy V.
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- April 14, 2012
The internet is often described as a festering pit of electronic hate, but in the same way your gut is a festering pit of bacteria -- the vast majority are harmless, and you're actually better off for having them around.
- By Luke McKinney
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- March 10, 2012
All of a sudden, it's like you can't make huge amounts of money without people getting all pissed off about it.
- By Jason Pargin
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- March 05, 2012
It's so frustrating that, unlike movies and shows, it's almost impossible in this world to find funny damned novels.
- By Daniel O'Brien
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- January 27, 2012
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