Cracked Archive - News

6 Things You Won't Believe Can Brainwash You On Election Day

It turns out that politicians are the ones who should be cynical about us. Science is finding that some pretty weird stuff can make us forget what we stand for on Election Day.


24 Questions I Shouldn't Have Asked the Wikileaks Founder

Cracked: Mr. Assange, we have not crossed any of your ground rules. Now calm down. A big part of your role is coordinating Wikileaks efforts with the conventional media, and I know you don't want to get a reputation as a big interview-baby.


My Time As A Trapped Chilean Copper Miner

Yeah, yeah, we're fine. So, what's been happening on 'Mad Men'?


If Columbus Had Explored The Internet

For the past few weeks I have journeyed through the Internet and documented my travels with such humbling clarity and insightful insight that it will stand as proof of my abilities. My only hope is that some years in the future-when comment sections are finally blessed with civility and literacy I am remembered with some commemorative statue.


15 Things Christine O'Donnell Will Probably Say Next

Seriously though this bitch crazy.


5 Bad Economic Indicators for the Criminally Insane

personally, I always thought 'economy' was a virtually windowless van manufactured by the Ford Company. It seemed a little odd when people got excited at the prospect of it 'turning around,' but I just figured they were rape fans.


What The Hell Is Wrong With Twenty-Somethings?

What's our problem?


3 Reasons the Ground Zero Mosque Debate Makes No Sense

I don�t usually write about politics. It�s important, but something I want no part of � kind of like a raw sewage treatment facility. But frankly, I haven�t been this upset in a long time. And it's due to the logic-hating, herd-mentality rhetoric that some have been flinging in opposition to the so-called 'Ground Zero Mosque.'


6 Objective Reasons The US Army Should Invade BP

Turns out BP and COBRA have a lot more in common than an all-capped name.


The 5 Most Statistically Full of Sh!t National Stereotypes

Turns out many universally accepted national reputations have little to no basis in reality. Shocking, we know.


The 6 Most Half Assed Attempts at Corporate Green Washing

'Just paint the logo green, those idiots will believe in anything.'

334's Top 25 Articles of 2009

Counting down the 25 most popular articles posted this year.


8 Insane Ways Parents Are Politically Brainwashing Children

Create your own adorable partisan asshole.