Cracked Archive - News

5 Products that Will Be Exposed as B.S. in 2011

No one is willing to believe a product doesn't work until science discredits it, and science is already so busy with cancer and hoverboards.


Kidnapped by Drug Lords: My 3rd Worst Vacation in Mexico

Since 2006, an all-out drug war has swept across Mexico. Tourists won't visit Baja anymore, ex-pats won't search for a cultural identity in remote mountain villages, and an unprecedented number of college co-eds refuse to make bad decisions in border towns. Frankly, it's gotten a little out of hand.


6 Near Death Experiences Caught on Video

Holy shit why were you still holding the camera?


Why 'WTF Has Obama Done So' Isn't Helping Obama

the website succeeds in accomplishing only one thing: proving, without dispute, that Barack Obama is a failed politician. That such a website even needs to exist is proof of that failure. And those democrats hoping to bolster his presidency with a sassy url destination have fundamentally misunderstood the American people.



16 Possible Explanations for the Time Traveler Caught On Film

According to the YouTube comments which accompanied the video, heavily laden WITH words capitalized for no OBVIOUS reason, this was clear proof that time travel had been invented, and that we were being monitored by people from the future at all times, probably even in the bathroom.


6 Things You Won't Believe Can Brainwash You On Election Day

It turns out that politicians are the ones who should be cynical about us. Science is finding that some pretty weird stuff can make us forget what we stand for on Election Day.


24 Questions I Shouldn't Have Asked the Wikileaks Founder

Cracked: Mr. Assange, we have not crossed any of your ground rules. Now calm down. A big part of your role is coordinating Wikileaks efforts with the conventional media, and I know you don't want to get a reputation as a big interview-baby.


My Time As A Trapped Chilean Copper Miner

Yeah, yeah, we're fine. So, what's been happening on 'Mad Men'?


If Columbus Had Explored The Internet

For the past few weeks I have journeyed through the Internet and documented my travels with such humbling clarity and insightful insight that it will stand as proof of my abilities. My only hope is that some years in the future-when comment sections are finally blessed with civility and literacy I am remembered with some commemorative statue.


15 Things Christine O'Donnell Will Probably Say Next

Seriously though this bitch crazy.


5 Bad Economic Indicators for the Criminally Insane

personally, I always thought 'economy' was a virtually windowless van manufactured by the Ford Company. It seemed a little odd when people got excited at the prospect of it 'turning around,' but I just figured they were rape fans.


What The Hell Is Wrong With Twenty-Somethings?

What's our problem?


3 Reasons the Ground Zero Mosque Debate Makes No Sense

I don�t usually write about politics. It�s important, but something I want no part of � kind of like a raw sewage treatment facility. But frankly, I haven�t been this upset in a long time. And it's due to the logic-hating, herd-mentality rhetoric that some have been flinging in opposition to the so-called 'Ground Zero Mosque.'


6 Objective Reasons The US Army Should Invade BP

Turns out BP and COBRA have a lot more in common than an all-capped name.