I'd Start A Chant About How Much I Hate Wii Fit, But I Can't Think Of Anything Insulting That Rhymes With "Fit"
Due to events far too complex too go into, I've had a Wii and full library of games at my house for some months, something I wouldn't normally be able to afford. And it's been pleasant. There's a minigame in Mario Party where you shake a can of soda, and playing it is exactly like the very end of masturbating. I'm good at that one. Also soccer. But this Wii Fit shit has officially crossed the line. Not just because playing it makes you look retarded; I played Dance Dance Revolution and collected pogs (and made my own pogs), so I can’t really take the high ground there. The thing about Wii Fit that I can’t stand is that it’s depriving a whole generation of kids a classic rite of passage: ogling the women in workout tapes. Personally, I work out with The Firm. I said it, and I’ll say it again: The Firm.
Traditionally a woman’s exercise tape, but god damn it, I wouldn’t change my morning workout routine for all the tampons in China.
I don’t care if Johnny Lee makes it so Wii Fit implants memories of kicking ass with Van Damme into my brain while lasers sculpt my musculature into that of a Greek God. I will still work out with The Firm: Upper Body and Standing Legs and The Firm: 5-Day Abs and Tough Tape II (It really is quite tough).
First of all, it’s cheaper; for the price of
When not blogging for Cracked, Michael eschews Tae Bo as head writer and co-founder of Those Aren't Muskets!