MP: Really. We're really making artificial meat.
C: Like in a test tube?
MP: A petri dish, actually.
C: Because when people hear "test tube meat," they immediately think about university pranks gone wrong, and penile sutures, and embarrassing nicknames that never leave you.
C: Glass Porker. That was the one I was thinking of.
MP: Wow. We're not doing that at all.
C: I don't recommend it.
MP: I can imagine.
C: I don't recommend that, either.
MP: This is kind of a strange interview.
C: Well, you're kind of a strange-looking guy.
MP: Basically, we're using a technique that cultivates stem cells from a cow and forces them to turn into muscle cells.
C: These are the same stem cells that have been in the news the last few years because of the controversies, correct?
MP: Not quite. What we're ...
C: It was spider-men, wasn't it? You guys were using stem cells to create spider-men?
MP: Those are human stem cells you're thinking of, and I don't think anyone's trying to create spider-men.
C: Because you have to understand
MP: That's not really what we're ...
C: Sticky voyeurism.
MP: We're not doing ...
C: And bondage-related crimes. Bondage-related