- It is illegal to eat oysters or use a toothbrush during months which do not contain an "r."
- As a reward for his long service to the nation, John Cleese is legally permitted to kill one Spice Girl per year.
- Policemen do not carry guns, but if one points his finger at you and says "bang!", it is considered polite to die.
- Everyone is required to eat "Spotted Dick" at least once a year, but no one is permitted to think it's funny.
- You can take Mel Gibson's life, but you can never take his freedom (although his life would be just fine, really).
- No British citizen is allowed to understand baseball. And finally:
- The entire country must feed, clothe, and pledge undying allegiance to a little old white lady, in return for which she waves occasionally but doesn't say much.