Our Weekly Dose of Shirt Envy

Now that it's almost the holiday season and families are coming together to eat beige food in silent resentment, there couldn't be a more perfect opportunity to force your comedic sensibilities down the throats of your loved ones! Naturally, we want to do everything we can to help. The shirts in our Cracked Dispensary can be perfect gifts or just conversation starters around the dinner table. Trust us, your new sister-in-law would love to hear about the intricate details of the Portal universe, and she is not at all just trying to be nice.

Your grandfather is honestly curious when he asks why those nancies on your shirt are dancing like that.

And your sister's new boyfriend is 100 percent serious when he says he wants you to read his college poli-sci paper on the future of the anarchy movement because there's some "shit in there that's gonna open your goddamn eyes."

Actually, maybe don't wear this one at the table after all.

To ensure that you are always, at the very least, clothed for the holidays, we are offering a special promotion on Cracked Dispensary products. For orders of $49 or more, you can receive 20 percent off using the promo code: HOLIDAY2013. Or if you're a Jehovah's Witness and God won't even let you write the word "holiday," you can also use the promo code: PARTYPOOPER2013.

The Winners of Our Latest Contest

When we first opened the Cracked Dispensary, you collectively asked for shirts that mention "Cracked" somewhere in the design. Well, we're happy to say that after three long months, we're finally caving to your requests. We held a contest for the best Cracked logo shirt designs that capture the flavor of our site, and the results ranged from hilarious to genuinely disconcerting. Fortunately, we like a balance somewhere between the two, and these designs found that sweet spot. Here are our winners:

Keep an eye out for these shirts in our store as they become available. Also, if this looks fun, you can join our monthly contest right here.

Our Weekly Dose of Envy

Every week we like to scour the Web to find shirts we think are smart, funny, or just downright cool, and we collect our five favorites for you right here. It doesn't benefit us in any conceivable way; we just like sharing. Oh, but if you happen to see one of these artists out in the world, we'll gladly pay you to trick them into a cage with Illustrator CS5 as bait.