If you ever reach a point where you aren't sure of what to do next, head to the central area where players and NPCs congregate to swap stories and collaborate on quests: the break room. With so many people in one area, it will be a little laggy in there. Time will seem to slow down as everyone does things totally unrelated to the company and the work they're supposedly there to do.
You'll hear people making forced pop culture references for no discernible reason, people bragging about their new vehicles even though all mounts are functionally equivalent, and it's the place you're sure to find the one guy who is extremely powerful just because his parents have a lot of money.
"Did Chad microwave a cat again?"
"Yup, but what are you gonna do?"
It's also where you can go to join a faction. Factions are really where you get to see the game's dark side: All of the factions center around purely cosmetic aspects of the game, like which coffeemaker the office will get or what the mission statement of the company should be, yet people act like they're in the middle of the Hatfield-McCoy dispute.
You'll continue to explore, eventually get promoted to middle management, and spend hours and hours of time in cutscenes they refer to as "meetings" where you can't skip ahead and nothing of any consequence happens that won't be repeated later. Once you've been through all that, it is time for the game to come to its only possible conclusion: You must defeat your boss.
Depending on your class and how you played the game, you might have different ways of defeating your boss. You might surpass him professionally, orchestrate his fall around a failed project, or convince him to spend more time with his family. But by far the most satisfying ending is to challenge him to a fight in the parking lot and humiliate him into leaving the company.
Pro Tip: Make sure he and the marketing department don't do Krav Maga together four times a week.
If you plan your endgame from the beginning, it is possible to antagonize your boss enough throughout your career that he actually agrees to fistfight you to see which one of you will leave the company (Hint: Shit in the supply closet and leave his stationery nearby). The trick to this boss fight is to party with HR before the battle begins so that when you beat the boss he can't change into his final form, a costly and career-ending lawsuit.
If you beat the main story, don't despair: Office Job is also coming out with expansions all the time. After you are outcast from one corporate world, you are inevitably thrust into another, which is basically the same except with a different color scheme.
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"Bruce, we don't care what they called you at your last job. That is bordering on sexual harassment."
Aaron Kheifets is an occasionally mustachioed comedian, writer, and director. You are allowed to follow him on Twitter.
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