This piece was written by the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.

Computers, like people, speak different languages. Learning these coding languages -- or "robo-talkies" as the industry insiders (don't) call them -- will make you more hireable and adaptable to professional challenges. That's why the Cracked Shop has put together this roundup of classes on the five most common coding languages. Now you can score a great job and whisper sweet nothings to your computer all night long.

The Ultimate Java Expert Certification Bundle

9

Since it was created 20 years ago, Java has exploded in popularity and become one of the most important languages on the web. These classes will keep you up to date with Java's latest changes, help you build web applications with the most popular Java frameworks, help with multi-thread programming, and more. You'll know so much about Java, people will be asking you to make them coffee, and then you'll say "No, not THAT java! The programming language!" And then you'll both laugh at this silly faux pas on your boat in the Caribbean, because that's how rich you are.

These 11 classes are $2,200 worth of knowledge and are available for a limited time in the Cracked Shop for just $31.

The Complete C Programming Certification Bundle

lseif Tis tneme2 home 1S front pagel ()) bloginfol 'name get bloginfol lseif ( 1S nc lude ond dmin/ inc (is plug log/plugi bloginfo lse t bloginfo ech

C programming is the heart of game development, and this bundle will take you through the muck and much more, like teaching you its relationship to Java, how to sort algorithms, and how to deal with compiler installation. Then you'll be able to make things that go beep and boop when you press the appropriate buttons, but imagine something more complicated with a giant laser sword.

11 hours of classes and $1,159 worth of knowledge can be yours in the Cracked Shop for just $39.

The Complete PHP And MySQL Web Development Bundle

php MySQL.

If you're trying to manage huge amounts of data across the web, then you'll either need massive binders full of meticulous notes and a magical medallion that allows access to an unlimited amount of time, or you just need to understand PHP and MySQL. It will also help to brush up on Yii PHP framework and Laravel, and because we're nice, we'll throw that in too.

Learn about all of it -- $2,100 worth of knowledge -- for just $29, right here in the Cracked Shop.

The Python Power Coder BONUS Bundle

lullll 1

It's already a given that Python is an excellent and versatile coding language. But what really makes it shine is its simple syntax, which allows a lot of the skills you'll learn to be transferred to other languages. This is much unlike the knowledge of pythons (the snake), which has little application outside of dealing with actual pythons. Pretty specialized knowledge, incidentally. We shouldn't have wasted all that time researching them.

All in all, this is $1,075 worth of knowledge that you can pick up in the Cracked Shop for just $34.

The Comprehensive JavaScript Bundle

h ctassevles-fietd views-fie yprice e o I col-2> class'vievs-feld vies-flel e e vles-field viees-flel classa fleld-content's S Arteeh href /yellow

How much Javascript knowledge are we talking about here? Baby, we're talking about all of it. The whole kit and caboodle. We don't even know what a "caboodle" is, but you're getting it. You're welcome. Introduction, application, DOM explorer, canvas drawing ... if it's JavaScript, this bundle has it.

$1,492 in stores, grab it here in the Cracked Shop for just $31.

For more, check out The Ultimate Backend Developer Bundle or this Pay What You Want: AWS Cloud Development Bundle.

Remember, Your Future's So Bright You Gotta Learn Code.

Get More Comedy: Sign up for ComedyNerd

The ComedyNerd newsletter is your weekly look at the world of stand up, sketch, and more. Sign up now!

Forgot Password?