Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying parades are exclusively a warm weather activity. What I am saying, though, is f**k a parade. Maybe the St. Patrick's Day Parade is a good time, but I suspect that's only because people are too hammered to realize how terribly boring it is to watch grown men walk around in skirts while cops and firemen goosestep down Fifth Avenue.
But that's just one example. There are countless cities and towns throughout this great land that use the return of warm weather as an excuse to put on a "parade." I put that word in quotes because what this usually amounts to is watching pimply faced band geeks from the local high school drum and fife corps slaughter whatever 20-year-old pop tune their teacher had stuck in his or her head at the start of the semester. Or, even worse, you just get a bunch of conceited dicks mistakenly believing they're so important that people are lining the streets just to catch a glimpse of them waving from the backseat of a convertible. Rest assured, Captain Fantastic, nobody gives two s**ts about you or your spot on the board of the local Chamber of Commerce.
Nobody interesting works here.