Right, those are the exact same picture, because that's exactly what Mount Rushmore looks like in person. What is it that you think you're going to do when your Wally World-like trek to see four presidents' faces carved into the side of a huge rock comes to fruition? It's not like you can climb up there and take a picture of you pretending to put your dick in Lincoln's nose or anything. You're just going to stand there, take a few pictures that will look like the epitome of shittiness when compared to stuff you could just download from the Internet and then spend the rest of your vacation bored to tears because western South Dakota is a desolate hellhole with nothing even sort of fun to do. And it's going to be the exact same story at any of the other remote tourist destinations people flock to every year.
To its credit, though, Mount Rushmore does have fireworks every Fourth of July. Ha! Just joking. They stopped doing that years ago. But it doesn't matter, because the lamest of all lame outdoor activities is ...
There is a very limited window of time when seeing a fireworks display is even remotely interesting. That window spans approximately from the moment you first learn that fireworks are a real thing to the moment you've finally finished watching your first fireworks display. Beyond that, you're literally just watching the same thing over and over and somehow expecting to be entertained by it each time. But fireworks aren't Arrested Development. There aren't going to be extra layers of jokes and interesting shit worked into the minute details that you missed the first time. They're just colors in the sky.
I have it on good authority that there hasn't been a new type of firework developed since the early 1980s. What authority is that? My own eyes, because that's when I saw my first fireworks display, and every one has been the same bullshit since then. And I'm just talking about seeing a fireworks display in person. Some people actually go so far as to watch that nonsense on television. Seriously, you could just stare at the screensaver on your computer if you're that easily entertained. There's just as much variety to be found there.
"Oh, but wait until the finale, that's when it gets good!" No, it doesn't. It's just the same thing the townsfolk have been "oohing" and "aahing" about for the past 30 minutes, except now it's happening in a slightly more rapid succession. Saying the finale makes a fireworks display somehow worth the boredom that leads up to it is like implying that filling out paperwork at the doctor's office would be more exciting if they just gave you a bigger stack of forms and less time to complete them. That's not adding fun, it's increasing the obnoxiousness.
Nevertheless, all the across the country, local governments will be shelling out anywhere from $5,000 all the way up to $6,000,000 to set off a bunch of pretty explosions in the sky.
Good thing the economy is so strong. Otherwise, that would just seem foolish.
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