I get that not all of you can relate to this. Some of you are saying that it's easy to go a few hours or even some greater length of time without a cellphone, because you're resourceful enough to rely on your wits and wiles and wherewithal. That's very good for you, I guess, but I don't see how that helps us dummies. Some of us have trouble handling the stressors of the world without our pocket-sized robot buddies, and we have all the same rights to life as you, OK? So back the fuck off before we start tweeting about you.
But the biggest problem with not being able to solve problems until I replaced my phone was that I didn't know how to solve that first big problem (the phone one). Do you know where your nearest Verizon store is? I don't, because I never bothered to store that information in my brain because I figured I could just look it up on my phone. I tried asking someone for directions, but they just gave me a weird look -- or maybe just a totally normal look, I couldn't tell, because I haven't needed to interpret a stranger's facial expression since the day I got my first smartphone six years ago. Why ask for directions when I can Google Map something? Why have an original thought when I can read a think-piece on the toilet? Why ask for the time when I can just say, "OK, Google, what time is it? OK, Google, what time is it? OK ... eghum. OK GOOGLE. WHAT TI- OK ... is the light supposed to come on?" and then just give up and look at the clock?
Somehow -- don't ask me how -- I made it from the elevator in the parking garage (where I broke my phone) to my work computer, and I started researching my next move. There was just one problem.