7 Horrifying Historical Origins of Famous Corporate Logos
#3. HTC Droid Eris
Via Letsgomobile.org
The Symbol Is Used For:
A line of smartphones.
A line that was evidently extremely proud of its clock feature.
But the Symbol Actually Means:
The goddess of frustration.
Cellphones seem to be named by the same people who name cars. They either get totally made-up words (Razr) or vaguely sci-fi sounding ones (Galaxy) or, in this case, names that sound like video game characters (Eris).
"Introducing the Verizon Sonic. Because video games are things."
The Droid Eris was the first smartphone that Verizon Wireless carried, and like a lot of modern smartphones, it boasted a lot of cool sounding features like "sense" and "multi-touch," none of which matter more than the all-important "having some goddamn service" feature which, unfortunately, it didn't have.
And that's why the name is so unintentionally fitting -- Eris was actually the Greek goddess of discord, frustration, rivalry and strife. She's known for fucking up weddings and starting the Trojan War by throwing an apple inscribed with the words "To the fairest" onto a table full of Greek gods and saying "You guys can probably sort that out."
Via Wikipedia
We hear Lowell McAdam has hooked feet.
So she's basically the Greek symbol for massive inconvenience, which makes sense when you're fumbling with your too-fat fingers over a smudgy touch screen that cracks if you so much as cast a shadow on it. Though originally the phone was called the HTC Hero, Verizon changed the name when they agreed to provide support for it. It seems almost like someone was trying to warn us.
#2. The Symbol of Medicine, Caduceus
The Symbol Is Used For:
Medical institutions the world over.
Photos.com
"Well, four breast exams in one day seems a little excessive, but you're the doctor."
But the Symbol Actually Means:
Deceit and profit.
You're probably at least passingly aware of the universal symbol of doctors and medicine, but when you saw it on the back of an ambulance, you likely didn't know what the hell two snakes and a pair of wings had to do with either:
Photos.com
But you were pretty sure that if you rolled at least a 12, you'd resist its poison.
The answer is not a lot. However, the symbol, which is called a caduceus, does have strong connotations involving deceit, trickery and corporate greed. It's actually the staff of Mercury, Roman god of liars and thieves. To be fair, it would seem to be more fittingly the symbol of medical insurance companies rather than doctors.
The use of the caduceus as a symbol of medicine came into vogue in the 1850s, most likely due to a hilarious misunderstanding -- another image, the rod of Asclepius, is actually the ancient symbol for the god of medicine and healing, but it only has one snake and no wings. So, yeah, be glad you're not still living in an era when medical treatment involved getting smacked with a snake rod.
Via Medgadget.com
And don't dwell too hard on this article during your next root canal.
When they were looking for an appropriate logo for doctors and medics, they simply got the two symbols confused. It turns out sticks with snakes wrapped around them are more common in mythology than anyone realized.
#1. Cerberus Capital Management
The Symbol Is Used For:
One of the USA's largest private equity firms.
Getty
They've been known to buy a small company or two.
But the Symbol Actually Means:
A vicious dog that corners you and devours you alive.
A capital management firm works by finding companies that should be doing really well but aren't and then injecting them with some cash so that they can really shoot for the stars. At their best, they're like the gigantic corporate version of Mr. Miyagi, teaching you some "car-wax techniques" and "badass fight moves" (financial stability and investment smarts, respectively) so you can hold your own against the "local bully" (tumultuous economic climate). At their worst, they're like a gigantic three-headed dog that traps you on one side of a river and threatens to eat you alive if you ever try to escape.
Via Wikipedia
And then it pees on the carpet and swats your nose with a newspaper.
Cerberus Capital chose its name because the founder wanted to invoke the image of guarding his clients' funds. But the mythological dog is definitely best known for eating people alive and trapping them in a place they don't want to be (Hades) -- exactly the opposite of what a burgeoning company wants their new partner to do, unless that's somehow their business model.
We'd make a joke about Cerberus being an evil shadowy cabal, but founder Steve Feinberg already beat us to the punch with this comment:
"We try to hide ... If anyone at Cerberus has his picture in the paper and a picture of his apartment, we will do more than fire that person. We will kill him. The jail sentence will be worth it."
Via Wikipedia
He then drank the blood of an orphan and molested Hitler's corpse back to life before disappearing in a ball of flame.
Yeah. We'll just leave that up there all by itself.
J.F. Sargent Tumbles, Tweets and is the managing editor of Pculpa.com.
For more ridiculous backstories you need to know, check out The 7 Most WTF Origins of Iconic Pop Culture Franchises. Or check out why Hollywood knows better, but still doesn't give a shit in 5 Old-Timey Prejudices That Still Show Up in Every Movie.
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It's funny to see that most if not all of the facts and many photos in this article are all taken from wikipedia, coincidentally the same place I do my fact checking. Now 'tis possible that I'm twice as misinformed.
ReplyJust remember that Dr. Porsche designed the Volkswagen as part of a massive Nazi swindle scheme against the German people.
ReplyWhat an arsehole, Ferdinand Porsche!
BTW--most VWs were appropriated for service in the German Armed Forces and the SS.
--RKJ
So all the corporates symbol is fucked up with the ideal ideology of the company except foe the cerberus the evil corporation by the way great article the myth origins is more dark and sinister than u all have imagined
ReplyHeh, I've *always* thought Trojan condoms were a hilariously totally inappropriate name, for the same reason as in this article. Didn't know about the others, though. So much irony...kinda makes you wonder how just many of them came about due to someone invoking it intentionally to see if anybody would notice.
ReplyHA my mom has a veterinary caduceus tattoo...whoops lol!
ReplyOther people have pointed it out, an I agree; the medical "staff" is actually good, not bad.
ReplySnakes in ancient cultures were the symbol of medicine and health, we're the staff with wings was that of Hermes, the messenger god, which was known to be REALLY fast.
So I guess a symbol of "swift recovery" is pretty neato.
I don't see how you can just use satanism as a example of prolific murderous and otherwise controlling behavior. (LaVeyan Satanist here) Even traditional Satanists are just backwards Christians and just murder a person or two before getting sexually assaulted in prison for years to follow. I enjoyed the article, I'm just suggesting you gentlemen (and ladies) on the Cracked staff do more research before using a symbol based on public opinion formed from years of fear mongering lies. If anyone from the staff actually read this, I also thank you for your time.
ReplyFrankly, I expect the good folks at Cracked to use ANY religious symbol to get a good joke. Ofttimes, regardless of accuracy.
Actually, Cerberus's job of keeping the dead in the land of the dead meant that he was basically trying to prevent that "unleash all of the ghosts so they can torment the living" thing that happened in Ghostbusters... Or any of the numerous "zombie outbreak" movies. Not really all that horrifying when you don't identify with the dead people who wanted to come back and make your life miserable...
Replythe medical symbol from what i learned was used because of mose' staff the he used to heal those bitten by the snake.
ReplyYeah, its a mistake someone made a long time ago but they still use it. The staff with two snakes was what he describes, but there's a staff with one snake that's Moses' staff, and it's also the Rod of Asclepius, which was a god associated with healing and worshiped by Hippocrates.
I'm fairly sure most of these companies knew exactly what their chosen name or symbol meant.
ReplySame, I kinda have the hunch that at least some of them were deliberately invoking irony with these connotations.
firstly, medusa was actually raped but seeing as athena was onr of the virgin goddess, u had to be a virgin to be her priestess and thats what medusa was. so athena turned her into a gorgon cuz she viewed the rape as an insult to her.
Replysecondly: while mercury was the god of liars and thevies, he is more commonly known as the messanger god, specifically for zeus. his staff was actually a representation of his status as a messenger and is seen depicted with other messanger gods, such as iris the messenger to hera. it was also the symbol worn by heralds and messengers in greece to show they had the protection of the god mercury (or hermes which is his greek name.)
Medusa didn't actually seduce Posedian - she was a temple priestress who was so irresitibly beautiful that Posedian raped her when she refused his advances, she tried to run for help in the temple of Athena but she appearantly didn't care and punished Medusa.
ReplyBitches be crazy.
also. i wouldn't say these were horrifying. maybe, mildly amusing but certainly not horrifying.
Replyit could also be said that trojan is inappropriate because the container of murderous maniacs was brought into the city by stupid people. what does that say about she who is about to be honed?
ReplyThe Caduceus was the staff of Hermes who is also the god of medics are really any one who had to travel, the staff itself with a "snake" is actually a worm used to symbolizes one of the earliest surgeries which involved removing a parasitic worm though the leg by rapping it around a stick. Though there was a god of Medicine like many other gods he was grouped and formed into Hermes (Helios and Apollo), not mistaken for each other
ReplyTROJAN CONDOMNS
ReplyA container that broke open and released a murderous swarm of warriors.
Irony rocks
Lots of tiny little men are about to burst through and invade somewhere!
The caduceus is not the symbol on an ambulance.
ReplyThat's the Star of Life.
The Caduceus was the staff that Hermes used to lead the dead to the underworld in most myths
ReplyUm.....Trojan = of Troy
ReplyTroy=city with an impenetrable barrier (that's why Odysseus had to come up with the idea of the horse)
The horse was Greek, not Trojan.
True. I see the same morons that got to my comment got to yours.
They killed the Trojans ..Jesus H Christ..
But the fact is, if you say Greek Horse, people will go "derp?"
If you say Trojan horse, they know what you mean.
It's really a matter of it being referred to wrong by just about everyone.
Seems like they all chose the right symbols then.
Reply