4 Instructional Videos Made By and For Crazy People
The worst thing about being insane is having no one to share it with. That's why lunatics make instructional videos. Below are four of the finest examples of madmen teaching madmen with the power of VHS.
Dirty Line Dancin' with John Douthitt (1993)
Maryse Nicole's Collectible Doll Care - A Video Handbook (1994)
The point I'm trying to make is that these dolls make my skin crawl. To me, porcelain dolls seemed like something you only buy when you know you're going to die alone and the only revenge you have left on the world is forcing an unblinking phalanx of $400 toy children watch your corpse get hollowed out by dusty spiders.
According to this tape, I was right. I'm the first person to ever watch this video that hasn't lured children into an oven with candy. It didn't even have an ending since the life expectancy of its target audience is less than 30 minutes. It starts with instructions on how to carefully unwrap your doll from its shipping container to preserve the collector value of her bubble wrap neck brace. On a scale of one to crazy, it's already burying the needle, and it only gets worse from there. Plus, to add an extra dimension of terror, half her instructions were recorded later on a much louder microphone. Because that's what I needed to feel more comfortable, Maryse, for you to have a second voice. She might as well be saying, "Now I'll show you how to apply lipstick to your doll using
Magical Rainbow Sponge with Dee Gruenig (2000)


Karatecise Workout by Master Dominick Giacobbe (1987)





