3 Reasons There Are So Many Jews In Comedy
Six years ago, boyish Cracked editor Jack O'Brien suggested I write about why there are so many Jews in comedy. Granted, we were discussing an article I had pitched about American Jews, but I have to admit the request struck me as a little odd -- not just because here at Cracked I'm the lone Jew amid an endless sea of dirty Irish bastards -- but because today we tend not to point these things out. Just like we don't mention how so many Greeks own diners or how often the brides I order through the mail turn out to
"Leave the cocaine, but get that midget in fishnets out of here!!!" (nailed it)
The Comedic Effect of Christianity
Ultimately I realized I was making a mistake by focusing on the Jew in isolation. If Jew plus America equaled comedy, then there had to be something funny about that combination. And there is.In America, Jews are a white minority. Think about that: We can live comfortably, practice freely and bowl adequately. But being a Jew in America is like using left-handed scissors: You can make it work, but it just doesn't feel right. This is Jesusland. Always has been, always will be. So perhaps what makes Jews so funny is not Judaism, but Christianity -- and the American Jew's constant immersion in it. Don't believe me? Who could blame you? It's easy to accept that Jesus healed the sick, raised the dead and walked on water, but believing he begat the funniest fuckers on the planet would take a true leap of faith.Sometime shortly after birth, an American Jew realizes he's in the minority. That realization takes a little longer if the delivering obstetrician is Jewish or if the baby's born in New York, but it's still clear from very early on. This is a Christian show, and that's no accident. Because when it comes to amassing a religious majority, Christianity, like most winners, cheats. And not just in the big historical ways (Spanish Inquisition, Crusades, Santa Claus), but with something more basic, something all around us: Christianity has ingrained an almost irresistibly hard sell right into its architecture. Beautifully adorned churches demand awe and reverence. Towering steeples force spectators to raise their eyes toward the heavens where affixed crucifixes live in the sky. You can't see a church without looking up at God.
Trinity Church on Broadway. Historically significant for inspiring both the point above and Nic Cage's National Treasure. Oh yeah, Alexander Hamilton is buried here too.
We don't have saints in Judaism, so I cannot confirm or deny that this picture is surrounded by candles in my basement.
Tikkun Olam and Comedy
But is that all Jewish comedy really is? A way of complaining? A subtler form of throwing a punch? A cry for acceptance? For some, sure, but those guys never seem to make it past a couple of Letterman appearances. There's more to it than that because the truth is, we're not sore losers. We haven't even lost. Look it up. There's never been a race between Judaism and Christianity to see who could amass the greatest numbers of souls. Judaism has always been an invitation-only affair, a reward that's unsettlingly similar to a punishment. Like when the schoolteacher picks the good kid to help clean the erasers after class, Judaism is something of a burden. And that accounts for a need for humor as much as anything else.Jews go by many names: "Children of Israel," "Members of the Tribe," "Executive Producer." But perhaps the most descriptive is "Chosen People." Chosen. Set apart by God. That means we don't go looking for converts. Indeed, if a gentile comes to a rabbi seeking conversion, the rabbi is to refuse the candidate three times before even discussing the possibility of converting. Three times. Don't hate us for that. It's not like we're bogarting the one true path to salvation. We don't have a heaven, and if we did, we wouldn't believe that only Jews go there. It's not like Miami Beach.The three refusals are to make sure the potential Jew is serious and tenacious. Because there's work to be done. The world is incomplete, and God chose the Jews to complete it. Not chosen to reach heaven before others, but chosen to help with the heavy lifting during the final phases of construction. This concept is embodied in the Hebrew phrase "tikkun olam," which roughly translates to "putting the world in order," and conveys an obligation on Jews to pursue social justice. And even though countless Jews have never heard this phrase, we all carry it in our hearts, somehow.But how does a Jew -- even a religiously ignorant Jew -- achieve these ends? How does a Jew complete the world? Charitable donation? Labor organization? New York Times op-ed? We don't know. Somewhere there is a nagging voice telling us that everything is not all right. That action can't be left to someone else at some other time. It's hard to say if it's the voice of God or the voice of history. Philip Roth would make a joke about it being the voice of our mothers, but apparently he was raised by a cartoon. And still, we hear that voice and, without knowing what to do with it, sometimes we make a joke. Can making a joke mend the world? It couldn't hurt.Probably everything you need to know about this kind of Jewish humor and the Jews as a people can be summed up in an old joke popularized by Jack Benny and, more recently,
My favorite Jew joke. Told flawlessly by a black man. Somehow, that makes perfect sense to me.
Get it???
Comedy as a Polite Way to Say, "No, Thanks, We're All Good Over Here"
Don't get me wrong. America is rife with gentiles who magnanimously blur the distinctions between Jews and the rest of Americans. They're really swell folks. They're so open-minded that they actually get really pissed off if you set yourself aside as anything different from them. You'll see some of them in the comments to this article. Or the classier ones will say things like "Hey, you're just like us," and then adjust their navy blue sports jackets. And who wouldn't want to be? Who could envision anything better? Don't the citizens of every country want a government just like ours? A powerful presumption by Christian Americans who fully understand (without ever even stating it) that Christianity is America: powerful, successful, expansive, and almost completely devoid of American Indians.So sometimes, our humor is a polite way to decline your invitation to climb aboard the S.S. Milquetoast. Flattering to be thought of that way, but we better not. We'll react badly to the shellfish appetizer. Yes, it's like an allergy.It's better that we use humor to kindly keep some distance and gently remind you who we are to save us both the pain of your shocking realization later. Because even the most inclusive of you will ultimately discern the difference. And we want to be different. Yes, we can throw a punch or a football. We can drink a beer or go fishing. But we don't buy meat on a stick or tell our kids they can skip homework to watch the Final Four. We won't do something because everyone's doing it. We won't believe all's well that ends well when the same sin is scheduled for the day after tomorrow. Except for those Jews who will. Because some Jews do. And I don't know what to say about them. They own German-made cars. They like Philip Roth. They ruin all my theories. They're not like me.I like to think those Jews aren't funny. That they don't laugh at the right jokes. That all of them probably wish they were Christians. And I like to say I'm different. That if I were Christian, I'd ask to convert to Judaism. But I have to confess, I might only ask twice.Gladstone is Cracked.com's Visiting Resident Sherpa. Follow him on Twitter. And don't forget his Internet Apocalypse. He has a website too.Portions of this article appeared previously over at The Morning News -- a site for smart, funny, cool people.
For more Gladstone, check out 3 Reasons the Ground Zero Mosque Debate Makes No Sense and 5 Things From the 90s That Might (As Well) Come Back.