Ah, prom -- that special time of year where American girlchildren dress like immortal space princesses. The intricate beading, copious sparkles, and soft, flowing fabrics are supposed to look generally flattering and feminine, but we all know the real goal is to make everyone else at the catering hall think the dress-wearer's father is some sort of all-powerful interplanetary oligarch with limitless wealth and space capabilities. Here are 25 prom dresses that say "Maybe you haven't heard, but my dad legit just bought the moon for like a trillion dollars."

This Dress-Within-A-Dress (Dressception)

The 25 Best Prom Dresses (For Saying 'My Dad Owns The Moon')
Ruffle Gown

This Understated Two-Piece Moon Goddess Getup

The 25 Best Prom Dresses (For Saying 'My Dad Owns The Moon')

"Hahaha, ohhhhh man, that reminds me of this hilarious thing that happened at my old school. One time our teacher got so pissed because everyone was texting memes to each other under our desks, so she, like, threw her dry erase marker, like a total freakout, but the marker kept going into space because my old school was on the moon."

"Shit, I left my dress at home and all I have is a black tablecloth and a bunch of tiles from the Mexico Pavilion at Epcot. No one will notice if I fashion a dress out of a black tablecloth and a bunch of tiles from the Mexico Pavilion at Epcot, right? What am I even saying, of course they won't -- I'm the most popular girl in school. 'Cuz my dad owns the moon."

This Art

eaous Torale
Peaches Boutique

"I'm sort of dating this guy who's a fashion designer slash artist or something weird like that. He made me this dress, and I kind of hate it? But also, like, I kind of love it? My dad hates it, but he hates everything -- everything except the moon."

"UGH, NUTS. I left my fold-up ballet flats on the moon, where my dad sometimes lives. Can the driver stop by CVS? I need to buy some fold-up ballet flats for later. My feet get so swollen here on Earth!!! My dad owns the moon."

"Ahahahaha, oh my God, Bethany's running around telling everyone her dad owns the moon when really he just bought Amalthea, which is a moon of Jupiter and, like, it's barely a moon; it's not even round!!! Bethany's too-fucking-much honestly, like, I die. She is killing me with that shit. Everyone knows my dad owns the moon."

This Celebratory Drapery

The 25 Best Prom Dresses (For Saying 'My Dad Owns The Moon')

"And so I say to you, fellow graduates of the Class of 2016: Shoot for the moon! Even if you miss, that's honestly better, because my dad owns it."

See why the SAT is a joke in 5 Tests Everyone Trusts (That Are Shockingly Inaccurate) and find out why Soren wore a dress in The Summer I Wore a Dress: An Interview with My Parents.

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