What'd he do? He ran into me and knocked me over into a pile of his poop. Like it was high school or something. Real mature, Fred.
I am sorry about the multiple occasions I taught children about the food chain by arranging animals in order of physical size and then attempting to make the animals eat each other. This was scientifically inaccurate, generally unsuccessful and, when it was successful, deeply upsetting.
I am sorry about the single occasion on which I taught children about the food chain by arranging the children themselves in order of physical size. This was thankfully unsuccessful, though of course in poor taste.
I am sorry about using a "poor taste" reference in my apology about children feasting on each other. That was in ... that was just not on.
I am sorry about the animal husbandry class I taught. I maintain that this learning experience was instrumental in reducing teen pregnancy rates in the community, and will point out that the class was, in many ways, beautiful.
I am sorry that I used Storybook Petting Zoo assets to create a low-stakes betting venue, where patrons could place wagers on children that had been instructed to ride around on animals in the "pig race" portion of the property. I am particularly sorry for misunderstanding the clientele that would be interested in betting on such competitions, and how they would interact with the children. No child should ever be told they "fucking suck at riding a fucking pig" in such a stark manner.