Riyadh Comedian Chris Distefano Says He Loves Saudi Arabia So Much He Wants to Move There
Even as his fans slam him for selling out to the same people who fund worldwide terrorism, Chris Distefano isn’t ashamed of performing stand-up comedy in Saudi Arabia. If anything, he’s ashamed that he has to come back.
Despite the urging of humanitarian groups like Human Rights Watch, this past weekend, half of the American comedy A-list — and Distefano — descended on Riyadh to perform in a government-funded comedy show for the Saudi Royal Family and their most esteemed allies. The Riyadh Comedy Festival was a veritable who’s-who of American comedy’s greedy, spineless lapdogs, all of whom gladly signed a contract stating that they won’t make any jokes about Saudi Crown Prince and ruthless butcher Mohammed bin Salman in exchange for some blood money. But there probably wasn’t anything in that booking agreement that compelled them to sing his praises to such an embarrassing degree as Distefano just did.
During his time in Riyadh, Distefano spoke to Saudi media members about his deep, emotional love for the country that he had known for all of 10 hours, saying that Saudi Arabia is so amazing that, “I want to know what I can do to become a Saudi citizen.”
Don't Miss
If Distefano does take up a Riyadh residency, he should be more careful with his words — over there, kissing that much ass can get you executed for sodomy.
While the above interview was likely recorded and posted for the benefit of actual Saudi people who were interested to see how their Royal Family’s American humor humiliation concert was going, a few stateside comedy fans caught wind of Distefano’s sycophantic praise for Saudi Arabia, and they aren’t impressed. “Welp, hope you enjoyed your career. Don’t spend it all in one place!” one commenter said of Distefano’s undoubtedly impressive pay check from the Crown Prince.
“I’ve seen this before did he just blink out torture in morse code???” another American comedy fan wondered.
One more asked Distefano, “Oof did they give your passport back after this ‘interview’?”
Sadly, this kind of over-the-top adulation is exactly what the Crown Prince commissioned when he put together the Riyadh Comedy Festival. As Distefano and his comedians don’t want you to know, the Riyadh Comedy Festival isn’t actually about treating a few hundred citizens in the Saudi capital to some observational stand-up humor from middle-aged American men. The comedy event is a key part of the Saudi Vision 2030 campaign, which is an effort by the Saudi Royal Family to wash away their country’s reputation for executing journalists, torturing political prisoners, murdering migrants en masse and keeping the ancient practice of slavery alive and well in the modern world.
Saudi Arabia wants to rebrand Riyadh as an international entertainment destination, and servile stand-ups like Distefano are instrumental in slapping a coat of paint on those bloodstained walls. But, if the Saudi Royal Family is going to use American puppets to advance their whitewashing efforts, then the least they can do for America in return is to honor Distefano’s wishes and keep him there.
