Stephen Colbert Mocks Howard Stern Drama in Late-Night Return
You can’t blame the producers of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert for believing yesterday would be a big day in the world of Howard Stern. The King of All Media had promised his listeners that he’d address the swirling rumors about his professional demise in a dramatic trailer announcing his return: “Now all the questions will be answered. All the truths will be told by the one man truly on the inside. HOWARD STERN WILL SPEAK. TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 2ND.”
That promise fizzled like a wet firecracker yesterday, with Stern failing to show up for his SiriusXM show to deliver the goods. Tuesday’s show began with Stern’s new pledge to tell all on Monday, September 8th. Will he actually come clean this time? Listeners have a right to be skeptical.
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Stern’s unexplained cop-out had to disappoint the writers of Colbert’s show. On The Late Show’s first day back after a summer hiatus, the program opened with what appeared to be a direct parody of Stern’s breathy announcement.
“This fall on CBS, it’s the final season of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, and all questions will be answered. What's in Stephen’s mug? Who is he pointing at? And who shot Louis Cato?”
The video pokes fun at Stern’s announcement by inventing controversies of its own (even though Late Show has been making far more buzzy headlines than Stern’s fading radio program). “Tune in to the final season to learn, will Stephen and Helen Mirren kiss again? Will Stephen and Jeff Daniels kiss again? Will Stephen and Janet Yellen finally just do it?”
The gag was probably funnier in mid-August when Stern’s video was making the rounds. In today’s less-than-24-hour news cycle, that viral conversation (if it ever truly was one) had long been forgotten by early September. Stern could have goosed the video’s relevance by actually making good on his plan to tell all, but by bailing on his show, there was no “Stern reveals everything!” news to parody.
Without context, the Colbert open landed with a bit of a thud, especially considering its revealed mysteries — Is a hot dog a sandwich? — are more “mildly amusing” than “hilarious.”
Let that be a lesson to The Late Show’s writing staff: Your very real battles with the current administration are way more interesting than spoofs of Stern’s made-up controversies.
