‘South Park’ Reminds Us That Qatar Gave Trump A Mega-Jet That Might Go Inside Satan
As South Park clearly stated in its Season 27 premiere, “Sermon on the 'Mount,” President Donald “Saddam Hussein” Trump has put himself in a position where he can openly solicit and accept bribes from whomever he wants, and there’s nothing that any of us can do to stop Trump from shoving his ill-earned treasures up Satan’s ass.
Back in May, the royal family of Qatar revealed that they had built a massive, super-luxury jet worth $400 million that would soon become the property of President Trump. The terrorist-funding, authoritarian slavers of Qatar never specified exactly what they expected in return from the President for such a kingly gift, but, then again, Trump’s idea of “quid pro quo” has always been a little hazy on what it is that he’s supposed to do for someone else once they give him his bribe.
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Whatever the bribe agreement between the President and the Qatari royals entailed, I highly doubt that it included a clause that would allow Trump to shove the $400 million flying palace up his boyfriend Satan’s asshole, seeing as Qatar is pretty strict when it comes to its sodomy laws. But in tonight’s new South Park episode “Sickofancy,” Trump demonstrated that, no matter who bribes him, be they Apple, Amazon, Qatar or Tegridy Farms, he’s still going to do whatever he wants and stick whatever he wants, wherever he wants.
In his introductory scene in “Sickofancy,” Trump hosts a long line of admirers and well-wishers in the Oval Office as the most powerful and wealthy people in the world must take turns complimenting Trump’s leadership, giving him a bribe and reassuring him that his penis is not tiny. From Tim Cook of Apple to Amazon don Jeff Bezos and his throbbing penis head, all the power players are falling in with the new government-by-compensation model of the Trump White House, and the President is more than happy to accept the gifts — even if his boyfriend isn't ready to “accept” them himself.
Immediately after collecting his treasures, Trump retires to his bedchambers where he tries to convince Satan to let him stick the “presents” that the most powerful people in the world all brought to the White House up Satan’s Red Basement. Satan, however, is tired of Trump’s shit and is busy talking to ChatGPT about how he should leave his toxic boyfriend. Apparently, Trump’s White House is too sick and evil a place for even the Lord of Hell.
But unfortunately for Satan and for America, at the end of the episode, Satan ominously warns Trump’s latest bribe, Towelie, that there is no leaving the White House with Trump in charge, a reality that’s equally frightening to both of them — for every bribe that Trump shoves up Satan's ass, Towelie must wipe up another load.
