11 Jack Handey Deep Thoughts to Live Your Life By

They aren’t actually that deep — or are they?
11 Jack Handey Deep Thoughts to Live Your Life By

If you find yourself struggling to understand your place in the world, you might want to look to the work of the great philosophers. Sure, you could read Plato or Aristotle, but those guys are generally boring as hell. Instead, why not look to the work of one of the great modern philosophers, who doled out his advice not from a big rock but on Saturday Night Live: Jack Handey. 

Here are 11 of his trademark deep thoughts that might just provide you succor in this cold world…


What does separate animal from man? We see their shapes as wild and primitive, but behind the horns, is there not personality, and self-meaning?


All empires must fall, and most of them do so in the throes of desperation. If we were able to see and accept that fate, perhaps we could replace fear of the future with appreciation of past accomplishments.


We, especially now, use consumption and possessions as armor to stop us from considering our own power and role.


Sometimes, there is power in fantasy. Maybe the real course of action to closure is to engage with the fantasy, while not carrying it out.

Evening Sky

Everything in this world shares in more ways than it differs, if you look for those connections.

Running Like A Scared Rabbit

Your interactions with someone or something are only a small sliver of their effect and interactions with the world.

Old Ladies

No action occurs in a vacuum. Tragedy tends to multiply.

Drumsticks to Dolphins

Conventional wisdom leads to conventional results. What one might consider a mistake could lead to new knowledge.


No matter what your greatest desires and needs are in this world, when you reach the end of your life, theres no bargain to be made.


Make sure that success doesnt result in you slowing or abandoning your efforts, because once you find yourself overtaken, you may not be able to catch up.


Be careful of walking the fine line between determination and stubbornness. Independence doesnt mean ignoring opportunity.

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