Anthony Jeselnik Lights Up Steven Crowder for Being ‘The Worst Stand Up Comedian of All Time’

Jeselnik recounts the experience of watching an early-career Crowder ‘eat the hottest of hot d---s’ at the Comedy Cellar
Anthony Jeselnik Lights Up Steven Crowder for Being ‘The Worst Stand Up Comedian of All Time’

When Anthony Jeselnik inevitably books the first celebrity guest for his and Gregg Rosenthal’s podcast The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project, he hopes to host alt-right icon and failed comedian Steven Crowder – or, at least, Crowder’s ex-wife.

It should come as no shock to anyone that the comedian best known for being the most creatively caustic and indulgently dark stand-up in the industry has been using his talk show on the All Things Comedy Network to talk as much trash as possible about the people who annoy him the most. “These little gossipy bitches like to find out when I talk shit on anyone,” Jeselnik said of the coverage of JRVP – which includes this article – during last week’s episode before he absolutely obliterated Crowder, the ultra-conservative provocateur whose only meaningful contribution to humor was the creation of the “Change My Mind” meme. As a twenty-year veteran of both the New York and Los Angeles stand-up scenes, Jeselnik encountered Crowder early in his career path, right as the right-wing commentator’s comedy aspirations crashed, burned and bombed.

During the JRVP episode, Jeselnik was gracious enough to gift his viewers with the inside scoop on Crowder’s abject failure to become the “funny one” on Fox News, and he recalled watching Crowder “eat the hottest of hot dicks” during his audition at the prestigious Comedy Cellar in New York. Jeselnik’s Crowder story starts around the 9:25 mark below…

“Who's that fucking loser who's going through the worst divorce of all time right now?” Jeselnik said as he struggled to remember the name of the alt-right podcast host who publicly berated his then-pregnant then-wife for “not performing her wifely duties” while she accused him of being abusive. Jeselnik grew visibly frustrated that he couldn't come up with Crowder's name, saying, “Oh my god, he's the biggest fucking loser of all time … I fucking hate that guy so much. I wish I could remember his name so I could tell a story about him.”

Eventually, The JRVP team came up with Crowder's name, and Jeselnik explained Crowder's oeuvre to his lucky co-host who hasn't had to watch clips of Crowder scream at teenagers about birth control. “He's like for kids – he's like, if Joe Rogan is too confusing, they like Stephen Crowder,” Jeselnik aptly described his target, “Stephen Crowder tried to be a stand-up. He was a stand-up, and he was the worst stand-up of all time. He was on Fox News as ‘the funny one,’ and he got fired because they were like, ‘You’re not funny at all,' and now he's going through an insane divorce and losing all kinds of money.”

“I was at the Comedy Cellar when he auditioned,” Jeselnik said of his early experience with Crowder, “The owner had seen him on Fox, and was like, ‘I’d like a conservative voice,' and then I got to watch him just eat the hottest of hot dicks on a Sunday.” That memory still brings Jeselnik joy when Crowder elbows his way into headlines for another inflammatory rant, as Jeselnik said, “Every time I see him being like, ‘(guttural noises) Democracy!’ I laugh thinking about what a loser he is. We gotta get him on the pod!”

Jeselnik then pivoted, decalring, “I want Steven Crowder's wife on the pod, with the kids! Get 'em on here!”

Maybe Crowder's ex-wife will host Jeselnik if she takes Louder with Crowder in the divorce.


Scroll down for the next article
Forgot Password?