Mega Rich Larry David Doesn’t Want You to Know How Mega Rich He Is

‘How about you shut up?’
Mega Rich Larry David Doesn’t Want You to Know How Mega Rich He Is

Google “Larry David,” and it won’t be long before you’re seeing results promising to reveal the Curb Your Enthusiasm star’s net worth. The different estimates vary, but most sites put the number at around half a billion, give or take a few executive lunches. Chris Wallace, on the latest episode of his Max series Who’s Talking to Chris Wallace?, decided to settle the issue once and for all. You can probably guess how well David responded to that line of questioning. 

Wallace blamed his papa, 60 Minutes stalwart Mike Wallace, for the impetus behind his query. “My father always said, people are fascinated by how much rich people are worth,” Chris began. “I remember him famously asking Johnny Carson once what he’s worth.”

David interrupts Wallace before he can go any further. “A terrible, terrible question to ask,” he retorted with a mock grimace. “Who does your father think he was, by the way? I hope that Johnny Carson said to him, ‘Mike, none of your business. That’s none of your business.”

Wallace admitted that was more or less Carson’s response, but pressed David on avoiding the question about his own bank account. “Over or under half a billion dollars?” 

“I would say to your father, none of your fucking business, how about that?” sputtered David (though he had a sly grin on his face). Besides, that $500 million figure was too outlandish for David to even entertain an over/under. “That’s ridiculous. That number is so preposterous, okay? Ridiculous.”

Wallace pressed his luck. “How about $100 million?”

“How about you shut up?” David fired back, eliciting a Wallace giggle fit. “Is that all right?” 

While David never owned up to how much he’s packing in his wallet, Wallace acknowledged that David did have enough saved to pick up the check the last time the two men had dinner. That provoked another rager from the comic, who was incensed that Wallace had sent him a thank-you note the following day. “How many thank yous do we have to give out?” he fumed, wondering why people can’t simply thank the check-grabber personally at the end of the dinner. “Where does it say I have to send something the next day? You thank somebody when you leave! That’s enough!”

The 30-minute conversation was peppered with similar Larry David irritations, including his disgust at Donald Trump (“Such a little baby!”) that made headlines earlier this week. And so, Wallace also asked David why so many things in life seem to trigger him.

David’s answer was simple: “I have a very low tolerance for stupidity.”


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