15 Viral Puns and Bits of Wordplay That Will Delight a Room Full of Children
You can understand why I deployed a weapons-grade eye roll at the prospect of dredging up 15 puns from the cesspool formally known as Twitter. But these familiar heroes of the 280 character limit really came through in the clutch.
mynameisntdave Is Divorced Now
Me: honey, it’s really muggy out today
Wife: if I go outside & all our mugs are on the front lawn, I’m leaving u
Me: *sips coffee from bowl*
InternetHippo Wants to Know: Who Are the Ad Wizards Who Came Up with This One?
What should we call this giant advertising board?
Phil: A philboard
Bill: I have a better idea
KeetPotato Has to Consult Management
ordering cake over phone: and what would you like the cake to say?
covers phone to ask wife: do we want a talking cake?
lizard_wizard77 Has a Pitch for Dan Brown
“just relized stonehenge spells out the secrt message ‘n n n n n n n n n’ but what does it mean. wat are they trying to say”
aparnapkin Is Unlucky in Love
“I once dated an apostrophe. Too possessive.”
mtobey Is Asking the Right Questions
“Anybody here named Jeff?”
Jeff: Yes
Geoff: Yeos
DanMentos ’ Devastating Pun Unfurls Before Our Eyes Like a Car Crash in Slow Motion
“I just tried to make reservations at the library”
You don’t need a res-
“Couldn’t get one though”
Don’t do this
“They were fully booked”
Serafinowicz ’s Joke Was a Real Banger Back in 2013
“Remember: You can do anything you want, go anywhere you like. The only thing stopping you is your mind. Set yourself free! There are no limi”
dubstep4dads Says Sally Isn’t Ready for ‘Shark Tank’
“I wonder if Sallys parents were like, ‘Yeah great idea Sally. Sell seashells. On the seashore. Where there are tons of free shells. Idiot.’”
UNDEADTRESOR Is Kind of the Pro-Choice of the Party
“Avoid unwanted pregnancies by using the ‘pull out’ method where you pull out an acoustic guitar at a party & no one will have sex with you.”
danimgrace Believes in Women’s Rights — And Women’s Wrongs
“Take your husband’s last name. Take his first name. Take his social. Assume his identity. Hide the body in a closet. You’re the husband now.”
Fred_Delicious Describes the Perfect Crime
“sir, can i ask why you’re smoking TWO huge blunts?”
“officer, i’m…”
*turns to camera*
“double jointed”
*cop starts breakdancing*
ben_rosen Asks the Age-Old Question of What Defines Insanity
“seems like a TRULY crazy train wouldn’t need to announce ‘all aboard’”
GuyEndoreKaiser Would Survive on a Technicality
“If I was stuck on a desert island with only one record, I would want it to be the record for being able to swim the farthest.”
AndreTheViking Is Out Here Doing Prop Comedy with Their Wordplay
Do you think you’d make a good sniper?
Yes •
No •
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