Here’s the Best ‘Rick and Morty’ Tech If You Take Away the Unforeseen Tragic Consequences
When Rick Sanchez hands you a piece of technology that he invented, it’s important to listen very carefully to the instructions — this is a gun that shoots bad people.
In the many worlds of Rick and Morty, being the smartest man in the universe doesn’t automatically mean that you’re going to think through the consequences of your genius actions. In fact, the majority of the show’s episodes revolve around Rick’s failure to anticipate the unintentional impact that his tinkering with the unlimited potential of science will have on himself and his family. Hell, Rick wouldn’t need his get-out-of-this-dimension-free contingency plan to find a new universe every time his temporary home world goes to shit if he just stopped screwing around with those alien parasites and Morty’s “love potions.”
Over in the Rick and Morty subreddit, fans recently discussed how, if you take away the tragic, dramatic or ironic consequences of so many inventions in the show, it would actually be pretty sweet to have an infinite disposable worker box. Here are their choices for most handy drawback-free Rick and Morty inventions, starting with…
Personality Detox Machine
I guess the no-drawback version of this would simply eliminate all your negative traits instead of cloning them into a separate consciousness that could break free and endanger the planet, but even still, there’s something unsettling about living with half of a mind without flaws that makes us iffy on the experiment. On the other hand, the mentally ill among us would save thousands on therapy if a single spa day could cure depression.
Along with essentially turning your own unconscious body into a slave à la Severance, the Somnambulator also extends your hours of productivity by roughly eight. Since you seem to awake fully rested regardless of the ab-crunching workout your night self undertakes, the only real drawback to this invention is that you have to soak your dirty dishes. The consequence-free version is only really necessary for all the shitty roommates of the world.
Despite Rick’s instructions to keep tasks for the infinitely generating and subsequently dying Mr. Meeseekses simple, they’ve proven themselves to be adept therapists and popularity-increasers along with their basic chore capacities. With an unlimited army of hyper-competent, hyper-enthusiastic servants at your disposal, who needs golf?
The Attribute Slider
In all fairness to Rick’s RPG-inspired invention, this one only backfired because Morty and Summer couldn’t bear to cooperate for a single high school party without starting an embarrassing fight that ends with Morty all Kuato’d up in Summer’s stomach. Imagine what you’d be able to accomplish if you could min-max your own life with the push of a button — open your miiind.