Kenan Thompson Settles The Debate Over Who Is Whiter: Stephen Colbert or Colin Jost?

If Saturday Night Live legend Kenan Thompson ever wanted to test his hypothesis as to who, between Stephen Colbert and Colin Jost, is the most comically Caucasian, he could run a delightfully simple experiment – make Colbert do the “Weekend Update” joke swap.

The comedy world has always been crawling with crackers, as anyone who has ever taken an Improv 101 class can attest. There is something deeply ingrained in us white men that makes us automatically think that we’re funny, even if only a select few of us are actually right. And, given the demography of the decision-makers and gate-keepers of the TV comedy world, it’s no small secret that the most long-standing institutions have, historically, been overwhelmingly under-melanated. Between SNL and late-night, the history of comedy on television is flooded with red-faced, pale-skinned, pasty peckerwoods – and that’s just counting Conan O’Brien.

As a cornerstone figure in TV comedy and an outside observer on the caucasity of his contemporaries, Thompson is more qualified than anyone to compare the whiteness of his colleagues – so, on last night’s The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, he authoritatively answered Colbert’s question as to whether or not Colbert is whiter than SNL star Jost. The verdict? Colbert is the most whitest, “Because you’ve been whiter, longer.”

“That’s the nice thing about being white,” Colbert responded, “Is that it’s a great investment, you only get whiter!”

Thompson applauded both his honky host and his coworker Jost, saying, “You two are two of the good whites, very good whites, and I love you both.” Colbert then asked if he could get that statement in writing.

Interestingly, Thompson was keyed into one of Colbert’s few traits that don’t automatically scream “Sunday school teacher who dips his french fries in mayonnaise” – Colbert’s middle name is, surprisingly, Tyrone. Though the name originates from County Tyrone in Northern Ireland, it’s fair to say that Colbert’s bleached, bespectacled face isn’t the first one that would come to mind to most people hearing it in 2023 America.

Neither Colbert nor Thompson knew Jost’s middle name, however – and, if they did, the “Weekend Update” co-host could have walked away with the title of whitest working comedian. What’s whiter than Colin Kelly Jost?