The Best Dates on ‘The Simpsons’
On The Simpsons, love is always in the air — though, on second thought, that might just be the tire fire.
Usually, when it comes to romance on The Simpsons, the show provides an effective example of how not to woo your boo. After all, very few brides ever dream of a Fudgie the Whale wedding cake by the freeway. Only occasionally does our hero Homer prove to be an attentive lover, and the rest of Springfield rarely fares better when it comes to affairs of the heart, with a heavy emphasis on “affairs” in Apu’s case. Romance is, generally speaking, a lost art in the Simpsons universe, but, every now and then, there are moments when two souls touch and we get to see fireworks on the small screen — and not just the kind Homer picks up along with some porno mags and disposable enemas.
Here are the date scenes from Simpsons history that most make our hearts pump, starting with…
Lisa’s Date With Density
Who doesn’t love a bad boy with a heart of gold? Well, by the end of the iconic Season Eight episode “Lisa’s Date with Density,” Lisa. Nelson Muntz may have a soft, sensitive side that only the most patient of partners can see, but he’ll sadly never escape the pull of his poorer influences and his love of law-breaking. Still, Nelson and Lisa will always have that kiss under the moonlight — and Milhouse will never forget the lesson he learned about playing guessing games.
Skinner and Krabappel’s Jaunt in the Janitor’s Closet
Hooking up at work is an ill-advised exercise in baby-making, but there’s something about sneaking around that just makes the entire fling that much hotter, as Principal Skinner and Edna Krabappel so clearly agree. Their biggest mistake was making Bart Simpson their confidant and fall guy, leading to their exposure and firing before Skinner’s embarrassingly-not-dirty little secret saves the day. Only a man in love would admit to being a 44-year-old virgin and still be able to look Ralph Wiggum in the eye.
Comic Book Guy and Agnes Skinner Aren’t the Worst Couple Ever
Of all the qualities two people in love can share, contempt for everyone else is as binding as any positive one. Most citizens of Springfield find interactions with a certain small business owner and a special stay-at-home mother unpleasant, but the Springfield Police Department deserves the most pity for having to interrupt a spirited session of love-making between Comic Book Guy and Agnes Skinner. Sadly, the former’s stash of illegal videos tore the star-crossed lovers apart at the end of “Worst Episode Ever” — Seymour almost found his new daddy.
Homer Chooses A Bike Ride With Marge Over Beer
The number of things that Homer loves more than beer can be counted on one hand — a four-fingered one, too. When a DUI exposes Homer’s unhealthy relationship with his beverage of choice in “Duffless,” Marge challenges her hubby to go a month without drinking, a challenge Homer beats against all odds. At the end of the month, Homer narrowly chooses a romantic ride into the sunset with the love of his life over another night wasted at Moe’s as the couple sings “Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head” like a pair of tone-deaf lovebirds.
Apu’s Valentine’s Day Marathon
After everything Apu Nahasapeemapetilon put his poor wife Manjula through over the course of their marriage, he owed her a whole-ass Elton John serenade on a daily basis, but for a brief moment in “I’m with Cupid,” he was a model husband. Apu’s Valentine’s Day mega-marathon was so grand a gesture that it made the rest of the men in Springfield pale in comparison, leading to the creation of a posse designed to thwart his romantic montage. If the men of Springfield knew that they’d only have to wait three seasons for Apu to start catting around and ruin his relationship, maybe they would have spent that time tracking down Billy Joel instead.