Yesterday Shows Just How Much Trump and Late Night Are Absolutely Made for Each Other

Like a fifth-grade fella still feeling the sting of a middle-school breakup, former reality-show host Donald Trump shouted out his hurt feelings yesterday from Truth Social, the tree house he built with hardly any help from his dad. It was 1:05 a.m. on Tuesday morning when Trump let loose with all the feels: “Now that the ‘strike’ is over, the talentless, low-rated CREEPS of late night television are back. I knew there was a reason I didn’t want to see it settled. True LOSERS!!!” 

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The creeps didn’t exactly take the insults lying down. 

While Jimmy Kimmel was happy to be back from the strike, he noted that “not everyone is glad to see us. This from a man who’s such a loser, he buried his ex-wife on a golf course just so he could continue cheating on her!”

Trump’s message “almost reads like a network promo,” joked Kimmel, tossing to a fake promotional spot for Jimmy Kimmel Live’s return. “The true losers are back!”

But who are the actual losers? Trump should know, Kimmel poked, since he fathered two of them. Cue the pictures of Eric and Donald Jr. Zing!

Low-rated creep Stephen Colbert also weighed in, sharing the Truth Social message with his wicked impression of the Home Alone 2 star. The Late Show host thanked Trump for watching, but was it really a surprise? “He’s a 77-year-old white guy,” Colbert said. “Of course he’s watching CBS.”

Colbert was taken aback, however, by Trump’s use of the term, “low-rated creeps of late night.” The Strike Force Five co-host wanted to know how Trump had discovered the group’s original podcast title.

Colbert then shared a second cry for help that Trump posted at two in the morning:

What a rave! Colbert liked Trump’s review so much that his show bought a Times Square billboard to share the compliment.

In your face, Donald Trump! It sounds like the late-night funny guys got the last word for now, but are we sure the monologue spotlight isn’t what the Miss Universe Pageant producer wanted all along? After all, back in the good ol’ days before the lawsuits, the impeachments and the indictments, Trump was a comedy show staple, showing up regularly on late-night talk shows, hosting Saturday Night Live twice and yukking it up with Howard Stern. Twenty-five years ago, he qualified for SAG-AFTRA with his appearances on Sex and the City, The Drew Carey Show, Spin City, The Nanny and The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. The man clearly misses comedy!

So sure, he sounds mad at all the late-night comics poking fun, but don’t you think Trump was secretly thrilled to hear his name in the punchlines again? When any kind of attention is better than no attention at all, pulling the pigtails of your secret crush is a surefire way to get what you want. Now just kiss already!