Unlike Matt Groening, I do not condone a father fully strangling his 10-year-old son just because the boy cracked wise. But, then again, I’ve never had a son as scathing as Bart Simpson.
Over the past 34 seasons of The Simpsons, Homer has seen his Crayon-inhibited intellect challenged and overmatched by his two speaking children — and even Maggie, every now and then. Out of the entire Simpsons clan, Homer is the biggest butt of the joke, with his big butt a constant target for his son’s taunts that, more often than not, earn Bart a wringed neck and a few terrifying moments without access to oxygen.
Here are Bart’s top 10 burns on his old man in ascending order of their searing qualities…
When Mayflower Moe Is Engaged to Mayflower Marge: “I’m sure the way to win her heart is to be fat and crying.”
Homer: “It’s okay, in 18 months I’ll be out on good behavior.” Bart: “We’re Simpsons, dad. We don’t do good behavior.”
Homer: “Marge, are you encouraging me to be irresponsible?” Bart: “Why don’t you encourage him to get us some health insurance?”
Homer (As Henry VIII): “My beautiful boy, why can’t I have you?” Dream Bart: “I don’t know, too much jerkin’ your merkin?”
Bart dressed as a ghost: “Oooh, I died when Homer sat on me!”
Homer: “You don’t have to follow in my footsteps.” Bart: “Don’t worry, I don’t even like using the bathroom after you.”
Homer: “This job is the greatest, they’re paying me to eat!” Bart: “Yeah, now if you can just get somebody to pay you for scratching your butt we’ll be on easy street.”
“Mom was right, your singing’s a sin, you’re as Les Misérables as Lee Marvin”
Mr. Burns: “Make yourselves at home” Bart: “Hear that, Dad? You can lay around in your underwear and scratch yourself.”