James Austin Johnson’s Trump Wonders Where Shia LaBeouf Is in the New ‘Indiana Jones’ Movie

With all due respect to Saturday Night Live star James Austin Johnson’s immaculate Donald Trump impression, there’s no way the real Big Cheese knows how to correctly say “Zendaya.”

To anyone who hasn’t seen Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny, Johnson/Trump’s recently posted tirade about the conspicuous absence of Shia LaBeouf’s character Muff Williams from the blockbuster demands some background that includes massive spoilers — while in real life, LaBeouf’s legal trouble and progressively souring public persona basically ensured that his entrance into the iconic franchise with the much-maligned 2008 film Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull would be followed by an unceremonious off-screen exit. 

The Dial of Destiny writers decided that the best way to remove the presidentially beloved Mutt was — I shit you not — to kill off Indy’s son in the Vietnam War sometime between the events of the fourth and fifth film. Johnson/Trump, incredulous at this decision, ranted about LaBeouf, Indiana Jones, Transformers, the work of Steven Soderbergh, branded McDonald’s soda cups and the state of the movie business for five minutes while wandering around an empty parking lot.