The Rotten Tomatoes of the Right Is Measuring the Wokeness of Comedies

The Rotten Tomatoes of the Right Is Measuring the Wokeness of Comedies

Those godless heathens over at Rotten Tomatoes have been sending us down the wayward path for years, with reviews from major media outlets (in other words, liberal brainwashing machines) leaving conservative audiences alienated and frustrated. That’s why James Carrick has masterminded “Worth It or Woke?,” a new site that promises to review movies from a conservative Christian perspective. Carrick tells Fox News Digital that the site will help viewers avoid films with woke messages, but wait, there’s more! If “Worth It or Woke” completes its mission, Hollywood will learn it can no longer ignore or talk down to conservatives or force a radical agenda on them. 

Click right here to get the best of Cracked sent to your inbox.

How do some well-known comedies rank on the woke/anti-woke scale? It’s not always as straightforward as you’d think. While “Worth It or Woke?” has reviewed less than 100 movies total so far, here are some funny movies rated according to non-wokeness, with a score of 100 being the most non-woke. 

Got that? Let’s go. (The site’s sometimes iffy punctuation and spelling are left intact lest we enforce a radical grammar agenda on Carrick and crew.)

The 40-Year-Old Virgin


Non-Wokeness Score: 100 percent

Woke Elements:The 40-Year-Old Virgin is a deceptively conservative film. Amidst its often vulgar and adolesent (sic) humor, the truth of the film is that waiting for a commited (sic) and monogomous (sic) relationship is worth it. Everyone in the movie who has had and does have multiple partners is actually somewhat sad, with the exception of Seth Rogen’s Cal, who is too stupid and high to know the difference. Romany Malco’s Jay is a serial cheater and is actually miserable underneath his slick veneer, that is until he finds out that his girlfriend is pregnant. Once he finds out that he is a father (which he acknowledges upon seeing the ultrasound) and comes to grips with the underlying reasons that he cheats, he becomes monogomous (sic) and happy.”



Non-Wokeness Score: 10 percent

Woke Elements:Elemental is the perfect metaphor for Leftist views of diversity. Here you have a mostly peaceful and cohesive society filled with a diverse group of people from completely different backgrounds and cultures. Then, on the other side of town is a relatively small group of people who are literally made of a deadly and dangerous substance with the ability to destroy everything around them just by getting too upset or even accidentally touching someone. Yet, the movie wants to preach that three-fourths of the society is bigoted for wanting to be cautious around them.”



Non-Wokeness Score: 49 percent

Woke Elements: “Every man is either a moron, disgusting beta male, dirty cop, evil murderous henchman or a centuries-old blood-sucking vampire.”

The Super Mario Bros. Movie


Non-Wokeness Score: 85 percent

Woke Elements: “The movie’s greatest weakness is its use of Peach. With the exception of the American version of Super Mario 2, the plot for every main title Super Mario game is that Peach is kidnapped and Mario and Luigi rescue her. However, in this film, it is Luigi who is kidnapped and Peach and Mario who go on the main quest.  That’s all fine and good but what isn’t is that Peach is absolutely amazing and perfect in every way, completely actualized and needs to learn nothing in the film. She never makes a mistake or a wrong turn. She is a textbook Mary Sue. Mario is only along for the ride because she allows it. This shift in dynamic only serves to water down Mario while nearly completely castrating Luigi.” 

Eighty for Brady


Non-Wokeness Score: 95 percent

Woke Elements: “The irony that I don’t have much to put in this section when talking about a film that features both Sally Field and Hanoi Jane, is not lost on me. However, I don’t.”

As Good As It Gets


Non-Wokeness Score: 89 percent

Woke Elements: “If this movie was made today, many of us would assume that it was woke. The main character, a white guy is the one who has to learn how to live life from a woman and a gay man. However, while some of its themes are certainly progressive, the film isn’t preachy. It tells the story of a man who is deeply troubled who is taking it upon himself to be a better man. Sure, his motiviation (sic) in the begining (sic) is the power of boners, but in the end he learns how to love both his heart’s desire and (platonicly (sic)) his gay neighbor, and if it was made today they’d end up a throuple and Nicholson’s character would give a soliloquy about the superior virtues of homosexuals.”

Back to the Future


Non-Wokeness Score: 100 percent

Woke Elements: “None.”

Scroll down for the next article


Forgot Password?