The Cringiest ‘Saturday Night Live’ Monologues, According to the ‘Live From New York’ Subreddit
With nearly 50 years of comics, actors, athletes, and icons opening the show with jokey monologues, Saturday Night Live can’t help but have its share of disastrous host turns over the years. So when u/spacembracers asked the r/LiveFromNewYork subreddit “What’s the cringiest opening monologue you’ve seen?”, several fans were happy to weigh in with their opinions. Here are the SNL monologues users voted most likely to make you wince.
u/spacembracers started the thread with Taylor Lautner, the Twilight star who used the 30 Rock stage to defend his then-girlfriend Taylor Swift (did we miss the opportunity to call them TayTay?) after failing to do so at the VMAs. “Imagine being so insecure that you make a whole monologue about what you would / should have done,” wrote u/papcorn_grabber. Unfortunately, Monologue Lautner “made things right” by practicing some Gymkata moves on a Kanye mannequin. That was, as they say in the business, a choice. At least Lautner kept his shirt on.
Several users nominated Olympic skater Kerrigan, who did one of those “answer fake-audience-member questions” monologues. “A 2x4 would’ve had more personality,” commented u/Constant_Actuator392. Gee, who knew she’d be better at nailing the triple lux than reading cue cards? In Nancy’s defense, she was an Olympic skater! Why Lorne insisted on having these folks host is a mystery (although NBC often broadcasting the games is probably a clue).
When NBC doesn’t post your monologue on YouTube, you know it was a problem. It’s even missing from the Peacock episode! Luckily, Reddit never forgets, with u/spj0522 reminding us that after “Christina brought up a joke that Fallon did about her on WU to Tina, there was a solid minute of unfunny dialogue and missed cues. They cut back to the stage and Christina and Finesse Mitchell just stared at the camera for about a minute before they did their lines ”
(The offending Fallon Weekend Update joke: "Christina Aguilera canceled two concerts in England, saying that she has acute bronchitis. Actually, it used to be acute, now it's kind of askanky.")
While Musk’s Mario caught a lot of flak, his monologue was no prize either. “You could watch doge fall in realtime with each joke,” observed u/ForAHamburgerToday. Many Redditors complained about Musk wearing his Aspergers (the term he used in the monologue) like a badge. “What, you didn't like him claiming to be the first ever host on the spectrum?” asks u/TrapperJean. “As though he thinks fans of Saturday Night Live wouldn't remember who Dan Aykroyd is?”
Lawrence received the infamous lifetime SNL ban after going off script in his monologue, starting with jokes about Lorena Bobbitt cutting off her husband’s penis and then somehow getting more disgusting with gags about hygiene habits of some of his female companions. More specifically, “some of you are not washing your ass properly.” Way to win over your audience, Martin! “I bet if it was actually funny,” wrote u/RealJerk69, “his controversial subject matter/going off script wouldn’t have been as big of a deal.” You’ve got a point there, RealJerk69.
You thought Al Gore was wooden? Get a load of this wannabe presidential candidate. u/BigHobbit sums it up nicely: “Nothing he did was funny. Tax jokes? Cool? Who let this f*** on stage?”