The Adam Sandler Lookalike Facebook Page Has Us Believing In Clones
Here’s a conspiracy theory for you – in Jack and Jill, Adam Sandler didn’t actually play his own twin sister. Instead, Happy Madison Productions put out a casting call on the Facebook page “People Who Kinda Look Like Adam Sandler But Aren’t Adam Sandler” to fill the role, then cut the doppelganger’s name out of the credits when they realized that she was an actual Sandler clone created by a mysterious Sandler syndicate.
What becomes apparent after scrolling through page after page of Sandman lookalikes is that there are a shockingly large number of people out in the world who go to work, go shopping, spend time with their families, and go about their lives all while looking almost exactly like the SNL alumnus and Gotham Award winner who is somehow responsible for both Punch-Drunk Love and Pixels.
Since the mainstream media has apparently censored all scholarly discussion on the very real possibility that the Sandler genes have been spliced into the DNA of innocent people across the globe, it is our duty to educate the public about all of the people who resemble Sandler but – allegedly – are not Sandler. Here are the top case studies in Sandler Syndrome:
Sandler Syndrome has been introduced to numerous different ethnicities and nationalities – the Sandler pattern is puzzling and opaque, but, clearly, there are powers at play who have made it their mission to spread Sandlerism to every corner of the globe.
Though it's unclear as to who could be responsible for this planned outbreak, two leading theories have emerged: Rob Schneider may have spread the genes as a contingency plan in case he needs someone else to put him in dozens of movies after some unexpected accident befalls the original Sandler, dubbed Sandler Zero – or, possibly, Bill Murray has taken up the mantle of his secret mentor and O.J. Simpson ally Don Ohlmeyer to settle a blood feud between Sandler and the SNL oldheads by diluting Sandler's brand with a sea of similar-looking comedians who also sing songs about Hanukkah and lunch ladies.
The secret Sandler replicator is certainly succeeding in the first part of their plot. Sandler clones are popping up left and right – and more are being discovered by the hour. Though it is still unclear what the end goal of the plot may be, we're fortunate that the heroes at “People Who Kinda Look Like Adam Sandler But Aren't Adam Sandler” are keeping tabs on the plot. Stay watchful.