People Would Like James Corden More If He Were Simply Peter the Rabbit All the Time

Even when ordering a salad, he’s far more palatable as a woodland creature
People Would Like James Corden More If He Were Simply Peter the Rabbit All the Time

It’s been a tough year for James Corden, the British comedian turned talk show host turned CGI cat who feels personally attacked by the dining hours of Los Angeles area pasta restaurants. The road to better times, though, doesn’t need to be long, winding or complicated: People would love James Corden once more if he were simply the animated Peter Rabbit all the time.

Listen, I get it. On a deep human level, we all deserve to see a movie musical without a James Corden jump scare. Furthermore, as a society we can’t stand the empowered theater kid. It sucks to be the powerless Chad living in the Virgin Lin-Manuel Miranda’s twisted world. But is it really Corden’s fault that his agent is too good at booking him roles, and that Corden never wants to be home with his wife and three kids?

So, again, I say we look on the bright side. And by the bright side I mean putting away our anti-James Corden sentiment and viewing him only as an animated rabbit who wears a jacket in 2018’s criminally underrated Peter Rabbit. Unfortunately, no one gave it a chance at the time because Corden voices the titular character. And that’s a tragedy on par with the Hindenburg or not enough people reading Emily Ratajkowski’s personal memoir.

Trust me, Peter Rabbit is funny. It has straight twink Domhnall Gleason doing some of the best physical comedy of the 21st century. The animals look incredibly soft, Sia voices a horny hedgehog and Rose Byrne is a delight as their caretaker. Corden, meanwhile, is at his absolute finest — exactly because you can’t see his face. No shame to his personage, but seeing even a glimpse of him wrenches you directly into the ugly reality of how he’s won eight Primetime Emmys for “Carpool Karaoke.” I can’t discuss any of these obvious positives, though, because of our collective Corden-phobia. 

Is it also because it’s a children’s movie and I’m a childless adult woman? Sure, I’m open to that. But as a counterpoint, the sequel, Peter Rabbit 2: The Runaway, kept up the laughs and the fun of the original, and childless adult woman or not, I’d be excited to see where Peter, McGregor and the gang go next. 

And so, the next time you see a headline about Corden throwing a salad in a maitre d’s face, take a second to think to yourself, “Hey, that’s not a famous man. That’s just the pesky little guy who caused a stir at Old McGregor’s farm in the animated movie Peter Rabbit.” 

Together, we can conquer our prejudices.

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