Possibly in an effort to compete with HBO Max’s line-up of unhinged Yuletide fare, Netflix will be releasing a new Christmas movie starring Lindsay Lohan. Look, most made-for-streaming Christmas movies are an affront to nature, but judging from the newly-released trailer, Falling For Christmas looks extra-upsetting. For starters, the title is shockingly literal, and is about a young woman who gets proposed to by her boyfriend during a ski trip – only to fall off a cliff mid-proposal and seemingly die. Merry Christmas.

Lohan’s character lives, but suddenly has amnesia. Instead of staying at, you know, the hospital, she immediately is shipped off by the doctors and sent to live with some random handsome guy who runs a ski lodge – which seems like an especially bad idea considering that anyone who has amnesia for more than 24 hours after a head trauma are “likely to have sustained a severe brain injury.” And presumably the cure for said injury is not gingerbread and slow-dancing. 

Even worse, once she’s at said lodge, the guy forces her to make her own bed – which serves her right for being a spoiled rich woman who doesn’t understand the value of chores, right? This would be a dumb plotpoint on its own, but it’s extra enraging considering that this woman just FELL OFF OF A GODDAMN CLIFF! You literally picked her up in the ER, why are you making her do housework you handsome monster?!

Obviously there are a lot of romantic comedies that involve s character getting amnesia, like 50 First Dates, Overboard and While You Were Sleeping – but here she keeps doing things that could seemingly make her condition way worse. In one wacky scene, she gets spooked by a raccoon and somersaults backwards onto her neck – 

Netflix

– which, again, would likely not have happened were she in the care of a team of doctors, not a rugged single father with a massive sweater collection. We already feel dumb for watching this immediately the day it comes out. 

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