10 Awful Things Billionaires Did
This week, we decided to take a look at all the little-known good deeds performed by famous billionaires. Unfortunately, we instead just kept stumbling on stories of them being petty, vain, and destructive. Maybe they’re tearing their families apart, maybe they’re tearing society apart, maybe they’re tearing whale penises apart, but they’re always doing something.
Here's a look back at the facts we learned this week. These short summaries are not meant to be appreciated by themselves—each one links to a full article we put out this past week with much more info, so click every one that interests you, or you’ll be the guest of honor at next month’s hunt.
1. Aristotle Onassis upholstered his yacht’s barstools with whale foreskins.
He would seat a guest on a stool then tell her, “Madame, you are sitting on the largest penis in the world.”
2. Kim Kardashian inspired one woman to spend $600,000 in surgery to look like her.
Afterward, the model spent $120,000 to dial back the tweaks and “detransition” back.
3. Mom from Futurama dated Mr. Burns from The Simpsons.
4. Nikhil Kamath cheated at a charity chess tournament.
He used a computer program to choose moves, and as a result, the billionaire was banned from chess.com ... until they quietly reinstated his account, anyway.
5. Cecil Chao offered $180 million to whichever man could marry his lesbian daughter.
The daughter was already married at the time, to a woman, but this French marriage was not recognized in Hong Kong, where her dad was from.
6. Henry Nicholas built a batcave for his sex and drug parties.
The Broadcom CEO tried to keep this stone tunnel beneath his house secret from his wife, but this didn’t work out. Also, he got indicted on drug trafficking charges.
7. Howard Hughes purchased a TV station because he felt nothing he liked was on.
8. David Tepper bought a rival’s mansion (to tear it down and build a bigger one).
Jon Corzine passed over him for partner at Goldman Sachs, so Tepper overbid for Jon’s mansion and demolished it.
9. The Winklevoss Twins perform cover songs under the band name Mars Junction.
This is truly evil. Because, you see, they sing really badly.
10. Mark Zuckerberg’s Facebook destroyed the internet economy.
Companies spend even more on digital advertising now than they did a decade ago, which is good. But before, it went to the websites that produce stuff, while now, it largely goes to social media companies that produce nothing.
Top image: Anthony Quintano