The Nintendo Switch Can't Handle Hot Weather, Says Nintendo

One less way for us to forget we're burning in hell.
The Nintendo Switch Can't Handle Hot Weather, Says Nintendo

Anyone who lives on planet earth (or inside it) is probably aware that things are getting pretty heated up. A massive heat wave has already begun to hit a considerable part of the globe, and even though consoles are counterproductive when it comes to making things colder, they do help us forget we're in hell. Sadly, Nintendo has struck a blow in the hearts of many fans by warning that the Switch won't be of much help because the console will overheat and shut down if played when its surroundings go past 95 degrees. That's funny because even though 95 degrees Fahrenheit is way more than any good American should be getting from the sun (the place all tax money goes to), that's just rookie numbers when compared to what people in distant countries such as Australia, Portugal or Texas are dealing with right now. 

Mario throwing a fireball
The totally real picture we just took of Mario as he attempted to play in his Nintendo Switch during his trip to Texas.

Interestingly, Nintendo seems unaware that the entire globe is getting ravaged by an anti-gamer sun, and has only issued the warning on their Japanese Twitter account.

Our translator has also melted, so we're just going to assume Nintendo is saying that all Switch consoles love their owners and that the only reason they won't be able to give us fun times during the summer is that they know we wouldn't be able to deal with the look on our faces as they melt on our hands – no, really – the reason the consoles shut down is that they don't permanently break. In that tweet, Nintendo also tells Switch owners to make sure they keep the console's airways unobstructed (and clean) at all times. This intel applies to the classic Switch, the Switch Lite, and even the newer Switch OLED. No words on whether the upcoming Switch Pro will be ready for the new normal, but it damn better be.

Top Image: Nintendo

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