15 More Jokes For The Hall Of Fame
Fresh off the presses we have 15 more steaming hot jokes to be shoved into the Comedy Hall of Fame. These jokes range from the outrageous to the delightfully simple, but all of them are deserving of their place in the annals of comedy greatness. Here are 15 more apex jokes from some masters of the craft.
Eddie Murphy's impression of every heavy-set aunt falling down the stairs from his 1983 comedy special “Delirious.”
A haiku by Bo Burnham:
“Old peoples' skin sags because it's being pulled towards the underworld.”
“The other day I got out of the car and this little boy was walking by. He just stopped and he stared at me and he was like, ‘Whoa.’ Then I was like, ‘Boy, whatchu lookin' at?’ Little boy was like, ‘I can't even fit all of you in my eyes.’”
Fun fact: This is Damon Wayans Jr.’s favorite joke of all time.
“I believe in the vagina like other people believe in God. I've never seen one before, but I have faith.”
Flight Of The Conchords
“My friend just told me he thought I was easily offended. I just can't believe he said that.”
“I wrote a song, but I can’t read music so I don’t know what it is. Every once in a while I’ll be listening to the radio and I say, “I think I might have written that.”
Can’t Demetri just enjoy rainbows without needing to make a statement?
“Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning “many”; and “tics” meaning “bloodsucking creatures.”
That time Jon H. Benjamin released an entire Jazz piano album despite knowing nothing about jazz or how to play the piano. Sometimes a joke can be so overarching it encompasses an entire unnecessary album.
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’ So that was nice.”
Someone gave me a compliment the other day saying I had the same face as Steve Buscemi.
“I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain. Why does moisture ruin leather? Aren’t cows outside a lot of the time? When it’s raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, “Let us in! We’re all wearing leather! Open the door! We’re going to ruin the whole outfit here!”
“Never laugh at your significant other when they're having an orgasm. That is their time to shine.”
What are the rules about laughing during your own orgasm?
“I spent four years in college. I didn’t learn a thing. It was really my own fault, I had a double major in psychology and reverse psychology.”
A telling of the difference between Heaven and Hell by George Carlin on Leno.
“I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it.”
So that's what all that screaming was coming from the bathroom.
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Top Image: Netflix