The Marvel Character Who Absolutely Guarantees Your Side Wins

The Marvel Character Who Absolutely Guarantees Your Side Wins

Hawkeye is the butt of many jokes. He has no superpowers and only modest skills and yet fights alongside teammates who are indestructible or gods. And yet Hawkeye may well be most victorious hero. With Hawkeye on your side, you just can't lose.

Hawkeye's team wins the big battle at the end of The Avengers against an alien army, of course. In the middle of that film, however, random goons successfully attack the hellicarrier that contains five Avengers, plus countless SHIELD agents. How? Simple: The goons are led by a mind-controlled Hawkeye. It's surely the Avengers' biggest defeat until losing to Thanos in Infinity War—every single Avenger loses to Thanos, except for Hawkeye, who doesn't take part.

Perhaps you remember Captain America: Civil War ending with Hawkeye imprisoned. Does that mean his side loses? Nope. The fight concerns whether Steve can head to Siberia, and in the end, he does—thanks to Hawkeye. Tony brought Spider-Man to web up Steve, but after he does so, Hawkeye shoots an arrow to free him. No one else on their side could do that. Well, maybe Wanda could, but she's only there because Hawkeye brought her. 

Walt Disney Pictures

Even more impressive than the time Hawkeye beat Loki, because everyone's beaten Loki. 

Speaking of Wanda, the most recent movie marks her as perhaps the strongest character of all. But you know who's the one person to ever beat her in a fight? Hawkeye, in Age of Ultron. He alone evades her mind magic, and then he paralyzes her with a single arrow. 

Now, he might have some trouble doing the same thing if he faced her in Multiverse of Madness, but we still think he could win her over. Using the power of … friendship. 

At the end of this movie, she becomes open to reconsidering her actions, and we think Hawkeye would be the best person to make her reconsider earlier, before she wreaks havoc. If Hawkeye came to talk, she wouldn't fight him. They're good friends—he broke her out of Avenger HQ that time; he recruited her back in Sokovia; Pietro sacrificed himself to save him; and after the funeral of Tony (whom neither of them ever really liked), they bonded over their other private losses. 

Hawkeye would say, "Hey, I get where you're coming from, I too lost a wife and kids and went crazy for a while." And he got that family back using magic, true, but that's precisely why he wouldn't dismiss Wanda's position out of hand, like Doctor Strange would. They'd talk out her situation, and really, a little talk would reveal that if she wants replacements for her imaginary children, she has some options besides multiverse murder. Like adoption. Or just getting pregnant. 

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For some previous articles where we maligned Hawkeye, check out:

The 5 Ugly Lessons Hiding in Every Superhero Movie

Hawkeye Throws A Fit And Quits The Avengers ... Five Times

Hawkeye Ruled 90s Commercials

Follow Ryan Menezes on Twitter for more stuff no one should see. 


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