5 Steps To Easily Make Bank On NFTs (If You're A Celebrity)
DISCLAIMER: None of the following should be construed as actual financial advice. Especially if you are someone that is googling “should I invest in NFTs.” And doubly so if you are not famous.
Welcome, celebrities! So maybe you’ve been noticing on all your famous friends’ profile pics and IG activity, that they sure seem to be huge fans of non-fungible tokens, or NFTs. You might be wondering, is this a sound investment, and should I get in on it? Perhaps it’s even been suggested to you by your agent, possibly from CAA, where co-founder Michael Ovitz is a major investor in the largest NFT marketplace, OpenSea. However, every time you mention it to your actual accountant, they make a strange, guttural noise away from the phone receiver. This is giving you mixed messages. Well, I have great news: I’m here with 4 easy steps to make money on NFTs as a celebrity. WARNING: This is not real financial advice for anyone, but ESPECIALLY if you are not a celebrity. If you do not have the public presence to swing a market through social media posts and appearances, THIS WILL NOT WORK.
Let’s get into it!
Choose Your NFT
First of all, you’re going to want to choose the NFT you’re participating in. You may have seen some that you think look cool! Ignore that! It is not necessary for what we are doing. What you want to do is to choose an NFT that already has a large ownership and preferably a large upswell of celebrity support. This ownership will give you some stability in the price, and less responsibility for consistent price pumping. Large ownership by other celebrities will relieve the pressure on you as well, as you will all (preferably) be bringing them into the public eye as a good investment.
If you’re not a financial whiz, or good with numbers, don’t worry! You will never have to actually explain numbers or potential gains. Your job is simply to encourage optimistic discussion and parade your NFTs around in the public eye, not unlike wearing a new designer to a large event to increase exposure.
Purchase Your NFT
Now, you’ve chosen a nice, established, blue chip NFT that you’ll ride the price of. Here is where you’ll have to purchase one of them. Yes, they are hugely expensive! The good news is, as a public figure, once you’re in, you YOURSELF have some influence on that valuation! Now, the minimum number of NFTs you’ll need to purchase is one, in order to make it your profile picture on your wide-reaching social platforms. Even if you don’t really want to, just this act alone will result in a spike of activity, and, if you’re newsworthy enough, maybe even some web coverage. All this will cement the venture as more trustworthy, in turn bringing in more buyers.
You can, of course, purchase more than one NFT, but a large scale investment is a bet on your own social cachet–more NFTs holds the potential for more exponential growth, but also more risk. It’s important to remember that NFTs are an entirely non-liquid asset, meaning that they hold absolutely zero value outside of buyer demand. If no one wants to buy it, there is no way out. They are connected to no resource and no asset. Luckily, public demand is a resource YOU, and other celebrities, manufacture in spades!
NOTE: If you want to make money off of your large sphere of influence through NFTs, but are wary of becoming invested long-term, you do have another option! For this option, you want to find a BRAND NEW, extremely volatile NFT, the opposite of above. What you want to do is purchase a bunch of these volatile NFTs (make sure you are not paid for them or gifted them, as this would possible violate FTC guidelines.) Now, HIT SOCIAL HARD plugging this exciting new NFT. Explain that it’s a new up and comer, and because of its low price, it’s the perfect NFT to get in on the ground floor of. If you have enough sway, this will naturally cause the price to rise dramatically as people rush to buy it. As soon as you see this spike, SELL. This is called a “rug pull” and is a quick return on investment on the backs of desperate, uninformed people who have been looking for an entrance into the NFT space. Activity like this would likely attract SEC attention, but the SEC has no control over crypto! Boom! Take that!
Create Your Own NFT
As an additional stream of income, you can produce your OWN NFTs. If you’re feeling morally queasy, you can make them at least something that SEEMS like it took effort, like a music video or a song. If not, just make a little doodle, whatever you want. Now, you’ll need to mint the NFT, which basically just means creating a “record of ownership” within the blockchain that you can sell. Don’t worry, you don’t need to actually know anything about any of that. All you need to know is that it costs around $50-150 to mint an NFT, so as long as you can sell it for more than that, it’s gravy. Once it sells, you’re home free! Unlike founding a business, you have absolutely no responsibility for the future value of your NFT. You’re completely unleveraged and the buyer, since the price is completely demand-driven, assumes all the risk. NFTs are often compared to paintings, and that’s a good way to look at it here: they bought your painting! If nobody else wants it that’s their problem, they wanted the painting! Does anybody actually want a Mr. Bean NFT? Doesn't matter! It costs practically nothing to try when marketing is free!
Ride The Wave!
You are now not only an integral part of the NFT market, but, if you bought enough, you are now considered a “whale.” The cool thing about this is, the value of NFTs in general is now tied to YOUR stakes in the market. You’re surfing in a wave pool that all your friends control! If you buy more NFTs, they will go up in value! If you sell off a bunch of NFTs, the value will go down… AFTER you sell. So who cares! Hang ten on that wave of virtual cash, and ignore the crunching under your surfboard! That’s just the spine of people who climbed into the wave pool without realizing there’s no lifeguard and they have no idea when the waves are coming!
Don’t Get Hacked
Ask your nerdiest friend what an offline wallet is, and put your NFTs in there. If you get hacked, and someone steals your apes, etc., you are plumb f**ked. Just ask Seth Green! You’ll be surprised and perhaps panicked to find that there is absolutely no jurisdiction or oversight in the NFT market, leaving you with little recourse to recover your “assets.” You’ve gotta understand, that complete lack of regulation is what allowed you to make the money in this pump and dump paradise, I mean exciting new investment frontier, in the first place! Live by the sword, die by the sword!