Predicting The Next Decade Of Marvel Movies (Based On Kevin Feige's Hat)
As we are writing this, hat enthusiast and Marvel Studios president Kevin Feige is currently shacked up with a bunch of Marvel people at a retreat to map out the next 10 years of MCU movies and shows, meaning that they'll end up with about half of the pandemic era covered. Feige popped by CinemaCon real quick this week to show off footage from upcoming movies, but he didn't offer any clues about what they're cooking up for the MCU at large ... not with his mouth, anyway. But what about his hat? Are hats not windows to the soul, as the old saying goes? (We think that's hats.)
As we all know, Feige actually hails from a race that communicates mainly via the designs on their baseball caps -- or cap, since we're pretty sure he only has one which changes depending on his mood or whether he senses any enemies lurking nearby (there's footage of it morphing into a little tank with an armed cannon when approached by a DC exec). So what was he trying to tell us through the cryptic symbol he sported on the psychic portal above his forehead at CinemaCon?
You might think that's just a Doctor Strange logo in 3D, symbolizing that the new Doctor Strange movie is coming out in 3D, but that's far too simplistic, like a child looking at the Sistine Chapel and thinking it's got some nice wallpaper. Take a closer look:
The symbol might look like the Doctor Strange logo to a filthy casual fan, but those intimately familiar with comic book lore recognize it as something called "a basketball" -- an item traditionally used by members of the homo sapiens superior (aka, mutant) race in their combat rituals.
Seriously, the X-Men really like basketball.
Even the ones you wouldn't think like basketball, like basketball.
But what about that red and blue effects on the hat's white logo? That's not 3D, you simpleton, and that's not white at the center: it's gold. Because this is a reference to the time the X-Men split into red, blue, and gold teams in order to
sell more comics more thoroughly explore the narrative possibilities within the mutant world. And that star on the side of the cap? That can only be a conscious callback to the Starjammers (the space pirates led by Cyclops' dad), Shatterstar (the X-Force member killed off in Deadpool 2), and the epic X-Men/Star Trek crossover comics and novel of the '90s, all at once.
In other words, despite his apparent caginess, Feige desperately wants us to know we're getting a crapload of movies about the Fantastic Four. That's right, count the number of fingers on his hand: five. The exact number of members on the Fantastic Four plus one. That stuff about the X-Men was simply misdirection, and you fell for it, you rube. You absolute rube. Note to Mr. Feige: we will delete this article in exchange for six millions dollars or a life-size cardboard cutout of Chris Hemsworth.
Top image: Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons, Marvel Studios