Everybody who remembers who Lea Michele from Glee is, strap in. We’ve got some breaking news on the Lea Michele beat, and, as per usual, it’s not “everything is fine and normal.” Michele is currently acting opposite Jonathan Groff in Spring Awakening, and in a documentary about the show, many details of the production and the lead-up involved were revealed. Some of which absolutely, definitely, did not need to be revealed.

The tidbit in question that I would have preferred to be sealed in a leaden coffin and, ideally, sunk in a bog somewhere, was a tale Michele shared about an impromptu anatomy lesson she gave to Jonathan Groff. I am now cursed with this knowledge and the low-grade tension headache clenching my teeth while reading it caused me, and you must be too. Apparently, Michele gave Groff a… in-depth look at the female reproductive system with the help of, and I am so sorry to tell you this, a desk lamp.

The question or lead-up that prompted this story is currently unknown. Spring Awakening is in fact a musical that is known for its topics of sexual exploration, which makes this maybe a little more reasonable? Kind of? Not really? There are so, so many points at which it should have stopped. Like the part right before you look into a camera and talk about showing your co-star your vagina. Definitely, before you mention that you used a desk lamp to do it. Stop attacking me with your weird sexual theater kid stories, ma’am. That is not the reason IKEA gave it a flexible arm. This is a Wendy’s, etc. 

Desk lamp

Pixabay

The things I've seen…

Now, it’s not like there was anything inherently wrong with what two close friends do in their own private time. In fact, it’s refreshing to read any story where a celebrity exposed their genitals with permission. However, I would have liked to have been asked permission before having this story appear on my computer screen. It’s like telling someone not to imagine a red car–their brain immediately imagines a red car, and just by reading this story, now I have to attempt to scrub this disturbing tableau out of my head. Was there an office chair? Standing on the desk? I didn’t ask for this. Now I want to put my own desk lamp in the back of my closet for at least a couple days.

Top Image: David Shankbone/Pixabay

Get the Cracked Daily Newsletter!

We've got your morning reading covered.

Forgot Password?