Those of you who watched this week’s episode of Saturday Night Live – or as it’s more familiar to many of us at this point, Any Day Of The Week, Not Live, And Probably On Your Phone –  saw Pete Davidson’s “Short-Ass Movies” song, in which he raps about his preference for films around 90 minutes while scrolling through Netflix and crapping on overlong snoozefests like … Heat? Really? How can anyone sleep with all that yelling?

The song brings up a good point; movies are getting crazy-long these days. The Batman was a whopping three hours, and Bruce Wayne never had to go to the bathroom once. It’s true that we could really use more cinematic brevity in the world, which is probably why the song has been so popular. 

Not one to ever squander the possibility of attention, Netflix responded to the sketch by adding a “Short-Ass Movies” category on their service, which has generated a lot of publicity. But Netflix … already had this category? 

Sure, it didn’t have the word “ass” in the name, thus rendering it inherently inferior, but they have a “Movies under 90 minutes” section. Seemingly, they just rebranded their existing feature as something new – it’s basically the streaming equivalent of offering Malibu Stacey but with a new hat.

Also, the worst part is: it’s not very good. Netflix’s “Short-Ass Movies” are just a hodge-podge of wildly different, mostly not-great films like Peter Rabbit 2, Anaconda, and the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre reboot in which Leatherface takes on cancel culture. There are some gems like Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but it’s missing most of the classics mentioned in the song like Eraserhead, The Lion King, and The Evil Dead – not to mention all the Ernest movies that were shouted out by Simon Rex. Maybe you’d be better off just watching that VHS copy of Amadeus in two sittings.

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Top Image: NBC Universal

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