‘The Office’: 13 Things Wrong With Michael Scott’s Condo

Have you always wanted to live in Michael Scott’s condo? Now you can do the next best thing!

The condo right next door to Michael’s place featured on The Office is for sale -- and it could be yours for a cool seven hundred grand. It even has the exact same floorplan as Michael’s condo -- all you need is a St. Pauli Girl neon beer sign to make it Scott-riffic. Just so you know, the condo is actually located in the San Fernando Valley, on the other side of the country from Scranton, Pennsylvania.

Fun Fact: Buying that condo was one of the proudest moments of Michael's life, but it wasn't complete until he made sure Pam updated the address on his subscription to Cracked (which was once a magazine). What can we say -- a home isn’t a home without a little Cracked.

But before you put down your escrow money, you may want to consider the many things wrong with Michael’s condo. Are you sure this is really a place you want to live?

1 It’s nondescript.

In fact, Michael can’t distinguish it from the dozens of other identical condos in his complex.

2 It’s small.

As Dwight points out when Michael is about to close on his new home, it’s smaller than his old place. But because he’s owning vs. renting, Michael still considers it an upgrade.

3 The neighbors are noisy.

Not good when you have a next-door neighbor who loves to practice his cello. Loudly. And the walls? “These babies are thin,” says Dwight.

4 It’s more expensive than you think.

OK, this one’s on Michael, who thought he was getting a ten-year loan, but as realtor Carol explains, it’s “a ten-over-thirty -- so thirty years total.”

“Wow,” observes Dwight, “you'll be paying this off in your mid-seventies.” Michael responds by dry-heaving on the back patio. Carol suggests that Michael could rent out the third room, an idea he briefly entertains with Dwight.

5 Carpenter ants!

6 Deceptively high ceilings.

As Michael begins having second thoughts about closing, he takes a closer look at his surroundings. “The ceilings are lower than when you showed me last week.”

7 Lack of attractive singles.

One of the main reasons anyone buys a condo is to meet potential mates, am I right?

“Where are all the hot people?” Michael reasonably asks the head of the condo association. “I was told there would be all these attractive singles and as far as I can tell, I’m the best looking person here.”

Even Michael understands he may be violating one of the basic principles of real estate: “You should never be the best-looking person in the development. It's just sorta common sense, because if you are, then you've no place to go but down.”

8 It’s hard to get good resale value on eBay.

NBC News offers this advice: “It’s questionable whether selling your home on eBay is the best way to go, and it’s rarely a good idea to rearrange your whole life around a job you might not get. It will save you a great deal of hassle in the long run. More importantly, it will save your credibility as a seller on eBay.”

9 The sliding-glass door is broken.

Michael ran through it when he thought he heard the ice cream man. This may be Jan’s fault for keeping the glass too clean.

10 God awful carpet.

At least in Jan’s opinion.

11 Not as much room as you think.

Even with three bedrooms, things can get cramped when your girlfriend uses two of the rooms for an office and a candle-making workshop. Plus, you might have to sleep at the end of the bed.

12 Warranties don’t cover everything.

When your tiny plasma TV screen is destroyed by a flying Dundie, neither is likely to be covered by insurance.

13 Restrictive covenants.

You’d think a guy would be able to put a sign for his small business -- say, The Michael Scott Paper Company -- in front of his garage. Leave it to the condo association to ruin the fun.

So please take all of these caveats into consideration before making a downpayment. We’re not telling you not to move in -- the neighborhood is gay-friendly, condos are made to fill with children, and if your condo is like Michael’s, you can get cable TV with satellite as a backup.

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