Games like Dark Souls, Bloodborne, and Sekiro seem very hard, but they're actually pretty easy if instead of playing them, you just watch ridiculously talented players obliterating all the challenges that they attempt to pose. Speedrunners have helped us laugh away any feeling of inadequacy by revealing that even some of the most menacing bosses have trouble with challenges most of us overcome with ease such as regular stairs and endless pits. With the recent release of Elden Ring, many players are probably feeling helpless to surpass the monumental challenges posed by the game, so we've put together a compilation that proves that anyone gifted with an insurmountable amount of skill can totally clown on these games.

Just a few months ago, mitchriz a streamer and likely descendant of Zatoichi, the made-up blind samurai, decided to exchange one of his (six?) senses for the chance to feel challenged by Sekiro once again – it didn't work. In a little over two hours, Mitch crushed the entire game with a blindfold on, resorting only to the game's sound design to beat the bosses, and to his encyclopedic knowledge of the necessary moves to navigate the game's world. Many have lauded this as the most impressive speedrun of all time, and anyone who disagrees should feel free to send us their carefully written thoughts that we too will read with a blindfold on.

Bandai Namco, Games done quick, Mitchriz

That's not a guy so cool he has to wear glasses indoors, even though he probably should.

And players are already clowning hard not just on Elden Ring's bosses, but on the game's gravity, even. Speedrunner legend Distortion2 teaches that there's no reason to risk our lives going through hundreds of enemies when we can just jump to a likely death,

Phase 1: jump

Bandai Namco, Distortion2

 turn into a half-dragon, 

Phase 2: staying in the air via abusing dragon transformation

Bandai Namco, Distortion2

Admit it, you thought that was a joke.

go full Godzilla Vs. King Bridge,

staying in the air via dragon-beam propulsion

Bandai Namco, Distortion2

then use our swords to fly to safety

finishing off via a flurry of attacks that slows down the fall and propels the character forward

Bandai Namco, Distortion2

whoa, they're just like elden primordial helicopter blades.

That's the hysterical peak of Elden Ring performance just a few weeks into the game's release. 

Bandai Namco, Distortion2

The scientists of Elden Ring believe they'll soon unlock the full power of teleportation.

There have been so many advancements in Dark Souls technology lately that players have gone from just killing some bosses with poop, to beating the entire game by just throwing poop at all enemies. Yes, poop runs can now be a thing.

Don't let the video's short runtime of a little over 20 minutes scare you, it actually took this guy 4 hours to beat the game like this. Now please just don't go looking for the average clear time for people using actual weapons.

But what if you just don't need more strategies, what if your skill is only hindered by the lack of the proper hardware? Take this guy for example, who beat Elden Ring using an utterly bananas controller made out of, uh, well, actual bananas.

 

Top Image: Bandai Namco, Xam3lpt

Sign up for the Cracked Newsletter

Get the best of Cracked sent directly to your inbox!

Tags

Forgot Password?